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Showing posts from January, 2009

Absolutely Brillant

Arnoldbucks? HA! Details here . Via .

John McCain Is Dumb.

Via Think Progress : McCAIN: I don’t know why he would do that. Mr. Limbaugh is a voice of a significant portion of our conservative movement in America. He has a very wide viewing audience. He is entitled to his views, and he has a lot of people who listen very carefully to him. I don’t know why that the President would take him on. He’s part of the political landscape, and he plays a role. Um, Senator? Politics involves "taking people on," especially if: You have contrasting political philosophies The person you are "taking on" said he wanted you to fail. And on that note, Obama didn't take Limbaugh on, Limbaugh took Obama on. Limbaugh though Obama would either cower or ignore him, and when he didn't, Limbaugh goes into full-on "Victim Mode." Also: having a "wide audience" and having views does not mean the President of the United States has to agree with you. Take this (imaginary) role reversal for example: ON KEITH OLBERMANN'S &q

What Does "Pull Yourself Up By Your Own Boostraps" Mean To You?

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Because to the Congressional Republicans, it apparently means: "People who aren't rich should have no problem selling their bodies for lunchmeat if will help get them out of debt." As the BG reports , the stimulus would give the state of Massachusetts " at least $6.5 billion in federal aid during the next two years - and residents would receive nearly $5 billion more in tax relief, unemployment checks, food stamps, and other benefits ." Tax relief? Employed Americans? Isn't that part of the GOP platform ? I see things like " The Republican Party will put a stop to both social engineering and corporate handouts by simplifying tax policy, eliminating special deals, and putting those saved dollars back into the taxpayers’ pockets ," and, " Businesses and employees, working together, are best suited to addressing the challenges ahead ," but how can people save money or start business if they are broke or unemployed? Hmmmmm? ( and on a side n

Oh Noes!

Exxon lose profit ? That no good! Can they haz bailout too?

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President Obama's not happy that some companies are using bailout funds for executive bonuses. And before anyone says, "Well, the law should have been more specific!" thank about this: if your company's going under and the Government gives you funds to keep it alive, why the hell would you use said funds to line your own pockets... unless, of course your company wasn't really going under to begin with . So much for the Cavs being the team in the East to beat . Michael Steele just won't go away . If we see a Palin /Steele ticket in 2012, don't say I didn't warn you. Apparently eight wasn't enough for the Human Birth Machine. War on Peanuts .

60-Senate Seat Strategy Still In Effect

I agree with Josh ; this would be like Elmer Fudd falling for Bugs Bunny in a cheesy disguise . Of course, I don't know how personally selfish or title-hungry the Senator is. Yeah, Gregg may take the job in order to make a difference, but considering that we're talking about a Republican who backed Mitt Romney, I'm not betting on it.

Bye-bye, Blagojevich

What more can be said but, "Trying to sell a Senate seat to the highest bidder is wrong, and apparently enough to have a Governor removed from office." That being said, I don't agree with Russ Feingold that there should be a law preventing governors from making appointments. I do think their ability to do so should be conditional.

What's In a Name?

Well, jail time for starters . I guess all of my kids will be named "Michael" and "David."

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There's something very 80's about the latest NBA Power Ranking . Jessica Alba uses Wikipedia to fight Bill O'Reilly and TMZ . She does know that Wikipedia can be edited by anyone, right? Even though the stimulus bill would give billions in aid to education , Republicans are still against it . Against education? I've heard of playing to your base, but this is ridiculous. Bruce Spingsteen is everywhere . Fuzzy math in Sri Lanka : " There were no civilians killed," he said. "We are targeting the LTTE. We are not targeting any civilians so there can't be any civilians killed ." Nothing like a mercury-flavored Pop-Tart . Crazy Good !

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President Obama tries to convince the Muslim World that not all Americans are greedy, war-crazy, religiously fanatical jerks. What he can't convince them it that one of these jerks won't stumble into the White House again. Gotta love that national security . Lex Luthor, I mean, Karl Rove is subpoenaed . Watch him do his next appearance on FoxNews from Iceland. Octuplets ? Jesus! I hope they beat the odds. Having friends is genetic ; so if your alone, blame your parents. Really; is it a surprise that "Ugly Betty" is being shelved ? Can this concept really last more than three or four seasons? How long can Ferrera tolerate playing the female Latina version of Steve Urkel? And isn't Scrubs like ten times as popular?

Also...

If I were to just concentrate on the Wizards and 'Skins nonstop (especially this season), I'd be like this...

Just For Clarification

The reason I don't blog about politics (or the ramifications of the evil/dumb people in politcs, or the fallout of terrible political move/initiatives) all of the time is because doing so would turn me into this guy... ...and nobody wants to see that. I am losing weight, though (thankyouverymuch).

Why I'm Not That Concerned About The Prospect Gitmo Prisoners Coming to The US

Because unlike these guys , we have a justice system that will keep track of unsavory types. And yeah; I know it's crazy that I have to use a humor website to show how f'd up the laws in other countries are.

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Kelly Osbourne back in rehab . Does the Fed need more oversight powers ? Are you older or younger than the MAC ? Obama's latest move will effect car emmisions. Blagojevich was going to put Oprah in the Senate (yeah right). Try not to hit the kid with the cell phone while you are driving. On the other end of the spectrum, these kids were trained to hit you .

Around the Internets

Just how selfish and stupid is Rush Limbaugh? This much . Heh . If this is true , it kind of flies in the face of coach Tapscott's theory that the vets need to play as much as possible. In that sense, should he have a lineup of Songaila, Jamison, Butler, Dixon and James? Yeah, I know, they'd get killed , but at least you wouldn't be contradicting yourself. Plus, they don't even have ten wins yet. I always knew something was off about the Moon Landing. The Toyota Game . The Bush Twin give some good advice ; proving that former First Lady Laura was their primary source of parental education.

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I don't think the Queer Eye guys charged this much . Celtics lay the smack down . President Obama is rollin': he put an end to the GWB-inspired GWOT strategy earlier, and now he talking stimulus . Cleaner air = we get to live another five months .

Oh The Awesome

If blogging was Hip-Hop, Jurassicpork would be GZA/Genius. Just sayin'.

That Darn Liberal Media

It's so annoying how the press just bends over backwords for President Obama : NEW YORK — Three news agencies refused to distribute White House-provided photos of President Barack Obama in the Oval Office on Wednesday, arguing that access should have been provided to news photographers. The Associated Press, Reuters and Agence France-Presse said the White House was breaking with long-standing tradition in not allowing news photographers to capture the president at work in the Oval Office on his first day. "We are not distributing what are, in effect, visual press releases," said Michael Oreskes, managing editor for U.S. news at the AP. I mean, see how they cower to the Office of the POTUS? The news agencies have used White House-provided images in the past for areas in the White House where media access is generally not permitted, such as the Situation Room or the private residence. But they contend that the Oval Office is the public office of the president and photogra

CEO Cashes Out

Huh ? NEW YORK – Merrill Lynch & Co. CEO John Thain has resigned from Bank of America Corp. The company has given no reason for Thain's departure, but it follows news that Merrill Lynch had moved up its year-end bonuses, doling out cash just days before it was officially acquired by Bank of America on Jan. 1. A company spokesman issued a short statement: "Ken Lewis flew to New York today to talk to John Thain. And it was mutually agreed that his situation was not working out and he would resign." I say "huh" because I've seen about 80 " Bank of America is the best bank EVA " commercials this week. Then again, maybe they can afford to run them when the head guy leaves.

Not What VA Tech Needed

Not another student trying to kill people . I don't know if this is just the stress of college life or that the guy was just nuts.

The Dog Obama Should Choose As The White House Pet

Heh.

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Caroline Kennedy calls it quits . Condi Rice moves on . Bostocalypse is back. President Obama takes the first steps toward shutting down Gitmo. LOST recap !

LOST Is Back!

Questions galore! A donkey wheel is used to move the Island? You can really move the Island? Will the show be in real time according to the Oceanic Six, or the one left behind (the flash-forwards did take place a year after the Six left, right)? Walt? Jin? Claire? Where the Hell going on with them? Who's the real villain: Ben Linus or Widmore? With Kate and Sun off the island (for now) who's the new Queen Be/Don't fuck W' Me: Juliet or Charlotte? Monster? The Others (and the people the Other kidnapped): what's their role in all this? Some of these questions get answered here . There's also a press release . And I love the whole " Island within the City " group pic.

Sister Mary Francis...

Joaquin Phoenix wants to be a rapper . You heard right. It truly is a new day in America.

PSA: Obama's Inauguration

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The price tag that the FoxNews crowd keeps using has some fuzzy math . Ya'll been warned.

In Crazy Conservative World, There's Always an Excuse

First off: Sens. Kennedy and Bird had to be taken to hospitals for separate reasons . Now: I was hoping that the neocon crazies would at least wait 24 hours before attacking President Obama, by according to Josh Marshall, no such luck. Ya see, their new story is because Justice Roberts screwed up the oath, Obama ain't technically president . Good thing the inauguration isn't the only thing that validates someone as president, huh? Otherwise, Sarah Palin could have rushed up there in the last minute, pushed Obama offstage and took the oath herself. It's shocking that the people who thought that Bush stumbling into Office while being propped up by his father's Supreme Court Justices is completely legit and shouldn't be questioned, yet this, this is something that requires validation.

The White House Web Site Never Looked So Good

What a difference an election makes. The new site definitely has the feel of Obama's campaign website as well as his transition site. I think I understand why the guy is fighting to keep his Blackberry. Anyway the new White House Blog (say what?) has thrown down the gauntlet, so to speak. Here's what they have to say about how the Obama Administration is gonna do things: Just like your new government, WhiteHouse.gov and the rest of the Administration's online programs will put citizens first. Our initial new media efforts will center around three priorities: Communication -- Americans are eager for information about the state of the economy, national security and a host of other issues. This site will feature timely and in-depth content meant to keep everyone up-to-date and educated. Check out the briefing room , keep tabs on the blog ( RSS feed ) and take a moment to sign up for e-mail updates from the President and his administration so you can be sure to know about ma

Things I'm Asking Barack Obama For

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Why do the pundits get to make all these requests and demands. They barely even wanted Obama to run. The people put him in, like they did with The Rock or those quasi-talented American Idol kids. So here are things I want Obama to do for me : Demand that Hip-Hop create a defining album for this decade with a minimum amount explicative lyrics . Why the hell do we have to go all the way back to the early 90's for songs that are both awesome to listen to and makes you think? It's an either/or world now with rap, and I'm sick of it. I want both. I thought Kanye or Common could do it, but they've been C+ at best. Obama needs to make Congress to give Mos Def about $10 million to put together a hit album. He has less than a year to make this happen. Create a teleportation machine : I think we're all a little tired of driving, flying and walking everywhere. If today's inauguration shows us anything, traveling in the year 2009 is a real hassle. It doesn't have to be

Around the Internets

If you're into Tila Tequila, there are some pics floating around ( NOT SAFE FOR WORK ). The only question is what's next: cameo in cheesy off-beat comedy or character in Cinemax "late night movie"? We should all be as chivalrous as this guy . Your favorite celebrities in flowchart form . " I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office ."- George W. Bush, May 12, 2008. Just one of Slate's Top 25 . Daveawayfromhome channels Sadly, No!...or Poorman. Either way. Whatever the outgoing administration tries to tell you, do not buy the bull that they inherited a recession .

Today In Sports..

In the NFL: ex-Redskins defensive coach Gregg Williams signs on with the Saints ; the Tampa Bay Buccaneers tell coach Jon Gruden and General manager Bruce Allen to spend more time with their families . And as for the NBA: Vince Carter saw the plane that landed in the Hudson ?

Unplugged

Well, I can't say I didn't know that it was coming : Circuit City Stores Inc., the nation's second-biggest consumer electronics retailer, reached an agreement with liquidators on Friday to sell the merchandise in its 567 U.S. stores after failing to find a buyer or a refinancing deal. The company, which employs more than 30,000 employees, said in court papers it has appointed Great American Group LLC, Hudson Capital Partners LLC, SB Capital Group LLC and Tiger Capital Group LLC as liquidators.

Amy Adams Used to Be a Hooters Girl

Talk about Enchanted. And that's just one of the " what did they do before they were famous " stories you'll find here.

George W. Bush, Dewey Cox & "Smallville"

Bush's final hurrah had it all: the arrogance; the weird mixture of acknowledgment and pandering (was I the only one who noticed that the first three people the President praised happened to be of color?); the back-patting over victories that only benefited a small ideological minority; and the alternate universe-projection of positivity. If one wasn't paying attention for the last eight years, one would think that every bad thing that happened was completely out of his control, and every good thing (there would good things?) happened just as he planned/envisioned them. I really don't want to re-post anything he said verbatim, so I'll just use this video of Dewey Cox as an analogy of how Bush probably saw his farewell address: Like this song, Bush was rather reflective. Unlike the song, Bush was excruciatingly revisionary. If we were being honest, Bush's presidency was more like this Dewey Cox Song . Or this one . One thing did stick out about the speech: his staun

Grade Outgoing President George W. Bush

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Go on . You know you want to.

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Once again , an X-Wizard makes it happen for another team. He kicked James Kirk's ass . He almost outsmarted Frank Drebin . And he introduced us to an Island that made the one on LOST look the one that Gilligan landed on. R.I.P., Ricardo Montalban . "Fighting them there so we don't have to fight them here" = some countries get passed over . Peanut Butter Recall Time ! There's no place like ...

Ah; It's "Biological"

So is this saying that the real reason prostitutes, porn stars, groupies and the girl in high school that was nicknamed "The Town Bicycle" were/are so sexually charged is because of estrogen overload ? I think so. "Results provide support for the relationship between physical beauty and fertility and suggest that women high in reproductive health engage in opportunistic serial monogamy -- being open to affairs and moving on to a new relationship if a higher-quality mate becomes available." Uh-huh....anything else? "Our results are consistent with the possibility that highly fertile women are not easily satisfied by their long-term partners and are especially motivated to become acquainted with other, presumably more desirable, men," they concluded. I wonder if Larry Flint will use this as a argument to get his porn industry bailout.

From the NSS Files

Susan J. Crawford, Pentagon official: "Yeah, we tortured a 9/11 suspect ." Conservative TV and radio to slam Crawford in 3, 2, 1...

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Colts coach calls it quits . More sleep = less sickness . Lights. Camera. Sexual Harassment !

Joy!

DU's " Top Ten Conservative Idiots " is back .

AAARGH!

"One thing I have to continue to remind myself is that Nick is a second-year player, Dom is a second-year player, Andray is really a third-year player when you consider how much time he lost as a rookie with the injury, Pech is a second-year player, JaVale is a first-year player and Javaris is a second-year player without a whole lot of experience. That's half my roster. All of those guys are playing key positions and getting key minutes at one time or another, so what you're seeing here is growing pains." --- Interim Wizard's coach Ed Tapscott . In other words: " Although being a lottery team gives me the perfect excuse to play my young bench in order to develop/evaluate them, their youthful inexperience prohibits us from winning enough games to pacify the ten fans we have out there who still believe that we'll be playing in June. Also, I'm under orders to make sure that we do just bad enough so when Wes Unseld Jr. takes over as next year's head

Modern-Day GOP: Still Whiny and Dumb

They're actually labeling Al Franken with the "Public Enemy #1" tag , which is like the Justice League giving that label to Captain Boomerang. So the party that put Rick Santorum , Larry Craig , and Mitch McConnell into the US Senate thinks that a former comedian would be dangerous and/or embarrassing. Whatever.

I Am Both Impressed and Jealous

Seriously: Five Reasons Megatron Should Have Fired Starscream Years Ago ? Man, am I slippin'.

Spider-Man Teams Up With... Barack Obama?

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Weird but true : How great is that? The commander in chief to be is actually a nerd in chief," Quesada said. "It was really, really cool to see that we had a geek in the White House. We're all thrilled with that." The comic starts with Spider-Man's alter-ego Peter Parker taking photographs at the inauguration, before spotting two identical Obamas . Parker decides "the future president's gonna need Spider-Man," and springs into action, using basketball to determine the real Obama and punching out the impostor. Obama thanks him with a fist-bump. So we have Obama connections to Spider-Man, Superman and Batman. At least the guy likes the cool superheroes.

"Crab Dribble" Is Spelled T-R-A-V-E-L.

This, Ladies and Gentlemen , is what you get when you combine a talented egomaniac with a League desperate for its next iconic star : "I mean, it's a play that you don't see in this league much but myself," LeBron explained. "It's one of those plays where you have your trademark play, and that's one of my plays. You know, it kind of looks like a travel because it's slow, and it's kind of like high steps. But it's a one-two, just as flowing fluent as any other one-two in this league. I got the wrong end of it, but I think they need to look at it again and need to understand that that's not a travel. "What happens is when you take a crab dribble and you hesitate, that is not one step, because you still basically have a live ball. And then when you go into your one-two that's when the steps get counted. So if you look at the play, I take a crab dribble and find a crease and then I take my one-two. So it's a perfectly legal play,

What Has Disney Taught Us?

Let's just say that there's a reason why Disney movies should be not part of any educational curriculum. Notice they didn't say anything about The Jungle Book ( that's because it rocks ).

Early Cabinet Cleaning?

The problem with building a diverse cabinet essentially devoid of nepotism is that unlike picking a crony (who everyone expects to have some kind of baggage) when a scandal (both big-and-small) pops up , everyone has to speculate what this means for the President (or in this case, President-elect): New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, tapped in December by President-elect Barack Obama to serve as secretary of Commerce, has withdrawn his name for the position, citing a pending investigation into a company that has done business with his state. "Let me say unequivocally that I and my Administration have acted properly in all matters and that this investigation will bear out that fact," he said Sunday in a report by NBC News' Andrea Mitchell. "But I have concluded that the ongoing investigation also would have forced an untenable delay in the confirmation process." A federal grand jury is investigating how a California company that contributed to Richardson's polit