Say It Ain't So...

Holyfield to fight again.

50 Years From Now This Story Will Take Place:

LITTLE KID: So how did your brother die again, grandpa?

GRANDPA: Well, kiddo; it all started with this homemade roller coaster...

No Main Topic

1. Bostocalypse is put on hold.
2. After all the various animated movies Disney has made, to ask a question like this is almost laughable.
3. If this is true, than Homeland Security isn't as congealled as the Bush Administration made it out to be.
4. About damn time.
5. I could say something like, "That's no way to Finnish your shopping," but that would be wrong.
   

Ah, The Many Uses of Facebook...

...connect with old friends, form social groups, taunt the British police...wait; what?

No Main Topic

1. And here we go...
2. While Obama takes a swipe at the security setup, here's a look at the suspect's British excursions.
3. Colin Farrell: Good Guy?
4. Full Moon on New Year's Eve (is this really news?)
5. The Real World D.C. (sigh)
6. Shorter Yemen government: We Got This.
   

You Can't Take Them Seriously...

Two more examples of why today's moderate conservatives need to be pitied and not listened to:

1. Pop culture references are like foreign languages to them.
2. Suicide bombers on American soil show the federal government's incompetence only when a Democrat is president.
   

You Learn Something New Everyday

"Players are not permitted to make trade requests publicly and are responsible for public statements relating to them made by their representatives." So noted.

No Main Topic

1. ...but no cigar.
2. Iran may see a lot more of this.
3. I'll believe it when i hear it.
4. As if Obama needed something else to worry about. And no doubt about it: there was/is a reason to worry.
   
5. Hints of her mother.
6. She was too old for him anyway.

"Your mother's money means nothing, I have ex-police I can hire who know how to get the job done and they won't leave any trace."

Holy Crap, Charlie Sheen.

Around the Internets

1. Can't say I'm this big of a LOST fan.
2. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
   
3. Santa Claus, Cracked.com-style.
4. Presidential Cats.
5. New Karate Kid movie.
   

Merry Christmas, Ya'll!

No Main Topic

1. The desire to be counted.
2. Falling for drugs is hard on the knees.
3. Like Monopoly, only it effects the lives of millions.
4. John Kerry's personal motivation for health care reform.
   

Point/Counter Point

Barack Obama: "Every single criteria for reform I put forward is in this bill."

Think Progress: "...he [Obama] touted the public option on his campaign website and spoke frequently in support of it during the first year of his presidency, citing its essential value in holding the private insurance industry accountable and providing competition."

While I don't think the lack of a public option is a valid enough reason to "go back to the drawing board," I sure as hell won't let the president get away with implying that the public option was an afterthought. If it was too politically difficult to get it in (and judging by Senators like Lieberman, that's believable) than just say so.

My Definitive Post

Ok, here goes: it's all on the line now. I'm tired of people being so unfocused and not keeping their eye on the ball. Doesn't anyone realize that OMG Kim Kardashian eating salad in bed!

Hell, Even Superman and Batman Fought Each Other Once

Apparently, there is a fight of sorts amongst Daily Kos diarists about Firedoglake's Jane Hamsher.

As usual, the headliners have stayed above the fray (they typically do when these periodical "wars" pop up). But if history is any indicator, someone like Hunter will come down from the mountain* and calm things down.

While I do fine some of Hamsher's actions and words unfortunate, I'm not ready to call the woman the second coming of the Puma Movement just yet.

What surprises me about this whole health care debate is the misconception progressives had about how much representation they actually have in Congress.

As I said over in Sadly, No!: As long as Congressional Democrats fear the opposition's base more than their own, expect more "politics" of this nature. Right now, the Democrats in office do not fear liberals/progressives. The response to this should not be "a pox on both your houses." When things aren't going your way, you keep voting and campaigning until you get the people you need to represent your politics. Simple, yet not easy to implement.


* = I'm being snarky; Jesus.

The GOP Wins a New House Member

But it seems he was really a Republican anyway. Still, Pelosi should keep an eye open.

UPDATE: Oopsie! Looks like this guy wasn't always a darling of the GOP...

Why The Redskins Need To Undergo True Rebuilding

No Main Topic

1. Being a cop isn't easy.
2. R.I.P.: Alaina Reed Hall.
3. You don't say.
4. You'd think this would be one of his first hires.
5. From funeral to protest.
6. When this part of Maryland experiences an increase in crime, you'll know why.
7. Now that's a solution for heart patients.
   

Dear UMCP Women's Basketball:

Please offer this young lady a scholarship.

Thank you,

Me

R.I.P.: Brittany Murphy

The actress, known for playing troubled characters, was 32.

Around The Internets

1. Zombified Star Wars Posters.
2. Understanding finance using the 1992 X-Men Arcade Game.
3. Strangely, these books still sold.
   
4. Sleeping Better.
5. So I was at the bus stop, and...
   
6. You can read this link if you want. No pressure. It's not like you have to; it's your decision.
7. Interesting dating advice from female celebrities. Here's the expanded version.
   
8. The One Thing Joe Lieberman loves.
9. MMM..."American Pie."
10. Early Birds vs. Night Owls.
    

Not Really A Shock...

But with Jerry Gray meeting with owner Dan Snyder, it looks like the road is paved for getting a new coach for the 'Skins.

Paul Pierce Has Some Interesting Ideas

Among them: make the rims higher.

"Beauty is in the phi of the beholder."

According to the results of this story, there may be some truth to that statement.

Democrats To Rely On Anti-Bush Strategy

I think this move lacks creativity. The modern GOP isn't trying to go back to the Bush Days as much as they're trying to return to the Reagan Days. Why? Because Reagan was more popular.

They should be talking about how the GOP has stalled health care reform, distorted the global warming debate, and have openly invited bigots and warmongers to direct their policy initiatives.

The GOP will just turn this around and say that the Democrats are stuck in the past and ignoring today's issues. And if history's taught us anything, Republicans can play the victim like no one else.

No Main Topic

1. BTW: The Colts are still perfect for the season.
2. Meet the Iranian Cyber Army.
3. SMH: 4-year-boy gets drunk so he can be arrested and see his father.
4. From Russia with something.
5. WTF, people?

Maryland's #40! Yay!

As in, the 40th happiest state in the union. Hey, we gotta have a goal to strive for, right?

Oh Happy Day!

Vinny Cerrato is out as Redskins virus executive vice president of football operations.

No Main Topic

1. Time to get the country back on track, Mr. President.
2. Good news for US father trying to get his son back.
3. At least the Democrats in the House are doing something.
4. Funny how now the Patriots have these types of problems.
5. Today's water supply: deadly but legal.
   

Damned If You Do; Damned If You Don't...OR...All Day/Every Day

If the Democrats pass a watered-down, Public Option-less, un-expanded Medicare version of health care "reform," many new and casual Democratic voters could be turned off and might not show up.

If the Democrats scrap the whole thing under the guise of "waiting until after 2010," the Republicans will just run on "Democrats can't get anything done," which if you ignore the both things the Democratic Congress did prior to the 2008 election and the things President Obama did that didn't require Congress, is accurate enough to fool some of the less politically adapt voters.

If the Democrats cut their loses and try to do this again via reconciliation, both the House and the Senate go back to Square One. That leaves Fox News, conservative radio, the insurance indsutries and every Beltway Bobblehead enough time to make yet another assault on healthcare reform (to say nothing of the Democrats). Also, there's no guarantee that the Senate Democrats will have the 51 votes they need (they thought they had 60 for this mess, and look where mere assumption got them).

Before I make my suggestion, one thing here: despite what Fox News or conservative columnists say, we do not have a liberal President nor do we have a Democratic Party run by progressives. If I remember the activist grassroots meme correctly, the Plan was first more Democrats, than Better Democrats. Well, I hate to break this but we haven't even finished the first phase yet (Lieberman ain't a Democrat, so this "We have 60-votes" battle cry was always a facade). The House of Representatives is light years ahead of the Senate, the Supreme Court and yes, the White House in terms of having progressive/liberal representation. Now that Democrats are creeping toward having a true majority, the next phase (which in all honesty, should have begun sometime this January) is making sure that by Fall 2010 there are "Mo' Better Democrats" in office. This also involves the grassroots, but I'll get to that in a minute.

Here's my humble suggestion:

1. Part One: pass the damn bill. Whatever the Senate Democrats can get by whoever they're courting for the 60th vote (whether Lieberman or Snowe or whoever) do it. Then blitz the airwaves claiming victory. Yes; true liberals will know that's bullcrap, but the goal here is to convince John Q. Public that this is Phase One of obtaining true universal heath care. The beauty of this part is that liberals can scream bloody murder while Congressional Democrats applaud and outlets like Fox News won't know what to think. if they endorse the bill, they side with the Democrats; if they agree with liberals that this is a mess the moderates they're trying to turn will be confused; if they try pull a "We like this part but not that part" they'll lose their core audience.
2. Part Two: (assuming that this is procedurally possible) pass Medicare expansion and/or either Single Payer or the Public Option separately via reconciliation. I would think that this needs to be accomplished before the Summer of 2010. FYI: The Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act is the closest we have to a federal bill that wasn't necessarily considered to be solely budget-oriented.
   
3. Part Three: The Senate Democrats must remove Joe Lieberman from his committee chairmanship before the 2010 elections. It doesn't matter whether it's done in a month or the week before the elections. This move is the only way the Democrats show that while they believe in reasonable compromise, they are not complete lapdogs. And if they fail on this front...
   
4. Phase Four: the grassroots must hold everyone who blocked or stifled healthcare reform accountable. That ranges from backing more progressive candidates to cutting the donations of those who are showing their ass. This is the hardest of the three, and if the grassroots can't get rid of these guys don't expect their co-workers to do it when they return for another term. I'll repeat myself: there can be no Pyrrhic victory here.
   

One of the things that separates the Left from the Right is that the Right is in such a state of denial they refuse to ever back down. But for some reason, people started writing articles and doing news stories about "The GOP in Exile" as if the Party did a collective "No Mas" last fall. Far from it. They re-organized, pulled crazy conspiracies from their butts and flung them at the wall until something stuck. Then the media (in predictably drama-addicted fashion) picked it up and next thing you know a bunch of scared old white people are calling the POTUS an illegitimate Marxist Muslim and screaming that they don't want the government to interfere with their Medicare.

In short: they don't stop fighting; and if progressives really want to have a voice in politics, they need to fight just as hard...all day every day.

There can't be a break. Now sure; individuals can rest, take a vacation, spend time with a loved one, take the kids out...but the movement cannot take a break. This past August proved that definitively.

UPDATE: After a little pondering, I expanded the suggestion to four parts; there's a new #2.

No Main Topic

1. “This business is all about serving clients, and if you don’t evolve, you die.”
2. "Most likely children who already received the vaccine are going to have an adequate immune response. We're going to accept they got proper immunity from it."
3. “Take it from me, someone who could have used a little advice in the past — there’s nothing better than learning from someone else’s experiences.”
4. “They’re not happy. I’m not happy. What remains is dramatic. We just don’t want to lose the opportunity, the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.’’
5. “With the right policies, America can build competitive, domestic industries that once again support a vibrant middle class.”
6. "She's made up her mind. There's nothing to think about: he's never going to change."
7. “Why is everyone thinking about forest and peat land while overlooking oceans, the biggest carbon store on the planet?”

Howard Dean Cashes Out

Removing the Medicare Buy-in was the deal-breaker for him.

Stephen Colbert Tags Katherine Reutter

Oh my.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Stephen Challenges Shani Davis - Katherine Reutter
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor U.S. Speedskating

No Main Topic

1. Sen. Boxer's battle.
2. Death by CT scan?
3. I thought it would be years before I'd see another 9-20 party in the making.
4. Some support (and advice) from the Governor of California.
5. The scary thing is: if Al gore is right, we won't have much time left to fix things.
6. “I always wonder why we let people out who are charged with such crimes.’’

Losing Weight At A Moderate Pace Can Make Obese People Healthier

Sure, this is kind of a "duh" story, but with too many people on crash diets, throwing up after every meal or deciding to either eat less or exercise (instead of both) a little common sense advice can go along way.

A Science Headline That Marvel Comics Would Love

Magnetic Power Revealed in Gamma-Ray Burst Jet.

Cracked.com Breaks Down Avatar

I thought I had a feeling of Deja Vu when I saw the trailer:

5 Moments from 'Avatar' That Are Suspiciously Familiar -- powered by Cracked.com

No Main Topic

1. The Big Payback!
2. All Around The World The Same (Protest) Song.
3. Certainly fodder for a new book.
4. Soy fights cancer? Whoa.
5. Exxon's energy plan.
6. R.I.P., Paul A. Samuelson.
7. I would think she would be scared.
   

Around the Internets

1. Your cat doesn't really love you.
2. Yeah this place looks cool until you realize you have to push a button every 108 minutes.
3. Guess which NBA player is rumored to have a live-in stripper.
4. This advice is for home shoppers, but I supposed some of it could apply to apartments as well.
5. Guess they didn't use the safe word?
   
6. FYI: conservatives tend to lie and behave like drama queens.
   
7. Name one male celebrity you'd think wouldn't be the target of an extortion plot. Give up?
8. NFL stars give dating tips that for some reason doesn't include, "Be stinking rich."
   

About Those Climate E-Mails...

It seems that they were more a victim of one-upmanship than outright deception:

LONDON - E-mails stolen from climate scientists show they stonewalled skeptics and discussed hiding data — but the messages don't support claims that the science of global warming was faked, according to an exhaustive review by The Associated Press.

The 1,073 e-mails examined by the AP show that scientists harbored private doubts, however slight and fleeting, even as they told the world they were certain about climate change. However, the exchanges don't undercut the vast body of evidence showing the world is warming because of man-made greenhouse gas emissions.

The scientists were keenly aware of how their work would be viewed and used, and, just like politicians, went to great pains to shape their message. Sometimes, they sounded more like schoolyard taunts than scientific tenets.

But then again, it's the evil AP; the group that dared to read and fact-check Sarah Palin's book.

Who Would Have Thought?

Their is a (loose) connection between Gabrielle Union and Paul Rudd. Thanks, Internet!

Why Do The Democrats Put Up For Joe Liberman?

Because they still need him for certain votes. No one ever said politics was pretty...or fair.

Sarah Palin, Political Celebrity

She's slowly becoming everything her supporters accused Barack Obama of being.

Today In Bad Santa News...

Santa tries to kidnap a 12-year-old girl.

Maybe I Had Michael Steele All Wrong

Going by these pics, what he really wants to be is a sitcom star. How about a show where an fish-out-of-water, has-been politician tries to reign in a cast of wacky young politicos? We can call it, "Get You Vote On!"

Their They Go, Trying To Make Uncle Sam Force Me To Do Something I May Not Want To Do...

When are we going to do something about those radical...teabaggers?

(via)

Lost (Final) Season Six Pics

Yay!

Quick reaction: from the looks of things, I'd guess Desmond's storyline is pretty much wrapped up.

Jenny Sanford To Do What South Carolina Couldn't

She "moves to impeach" her husband.

No Main Topic

1. Government-sponsored covert hit squad much?
2. Economic baby steps.
3. For Nelson Mandela, there was never another option.
4. When the fire truck driver does not know how to drive a fire truck, well...
5. Disney finally catches up.
6. You better no shout, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why...

Christians Believe In Ghosts

Not surprising really, considering that part of the Holy Trinity involves "The Holy Ghost." But more to the point: Christianity believes that when people die, they go to Heaven or Hell. What seems to be the debate is whether that happens immediately or over a certain period of time. And while the concept of a spiritual waiting room seems odd, it helps people try to reconcile weird, unexplained occurrences.

As for Christians believing in astrology...let's just remember that somehow Santa Claus and Jesus Christ still share the spotlight during Christmas.

Sports Spoiler

Cheating ex-NBA ref to use book sales to pay debt. Not really surprising.

All I Did Was Google...

"...Denim Computer." WTF, Internets?

No Main Topic

1. This sounds so familiar...
2. That's nice, but sadly it only takes one denier to satisfy the anti-global warming crowd.
3. This just in: the Lakers are still good.
4. I'm beginning to think that there's a minor disconnect between Obama and the military.
5. Can't say I'm surprised.

John Stewart: Gretchen Carlson Is Smart, But She's Acting Stupid For Her Fox Audience

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Gretchen Carlson Dumbs Down
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Wizards Coach Flip Saunders Has a Message For His Team

And I think it will go a long way toward improving their fortunes of late:

"We haven't had as much of a thrust with the ball," Saunders said. "We want [Arenas]to be aggressive with the ball, whether it's scoring or distributing, but we cannot walk the ball up the court. That's something we've really been trying to work on, from the beginning of training camp. If there is a miss, we shouldn't be in any sort of set play. We haven't done as a good a job as we need to."

Now where have I heard this before? Hmmm...

What To Make Of The Senate Health Care Compromise

Feingold doesn't like it but Dean does. These two are as politically compatible as you can get for Democrats, so that's saying something.

If it's possible that Majority Leader Reid got a version of the public option that isn't called "the public option, than what's the problem? Let's be honest: the minute progressives conceded the single payer idea (or rather, decided not to press the Senate Dems hard enough to keep it) we were all doomed to have some kind of political goulash.

Shorter Sarah Palin

Who are you going to believe: scientific study after scientific study or a clipped YouTube video I'm referring to to make a point on a subject I barely talked about during my campaign run?

Media Matters weighs in as well.

No Main Topic

1. Bayer issues a recall.
2. Bostocalypse.
   
3. "Maybe if I hide a symbolism of bigoted beliefs the jury won't have a negative opinion of me."
4. The only positive reason I can think of as to why they won't give any details is because whatever deal they reached could be distorted and twisted by those who don't want health care reform in the first place.
5. Good idea.
   

Need A Job? Obama's On the Case!

Well, according to the Onion, that is:



Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker

Tomorrow's Story: FoxNews Goes Bonkers

Today's Headline: Obama Gets Statue From Indonesia.

The Conyers-Obama Dynamic

Their relationship is almost like the political version of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, except lives hang in the balance.

Charley Rosen's Bottom Line

Their defense is better, but the Wizards aren't going to win too many games relying solely on the jumpshot.

Michael Steele Sends a Letter To Obama

He uses words (and phrases) like "splurge," "gamble" and "Jimmy Cater style inflation." I'm curious how much of the letter Obama will read before laughing and throwing it away; seriously: how much influence has Jimmy Carter had in the current Democratic platform, let alone in modern day politics? Does he really have a bigger voice than Howard Dean or the Clintons?

If anything, Steele should have said "Daschle Style inflation," but that's not a name that raises eyebrows.

No Main Topic

1. If you haven't been boiling or filtering your water since about 2004, odds are you're either sick, in the hospital or dead by now.
2. I know this this couple loves their children, but there comes a point in time when being constantly pregnant is dangerous.
3. Eventually, they're going to have to deal with this on their own, like every other country.
   
4. Well, that's encouraging.
5. Iverson's return to Philly.
6. Bruno!
7. When you're losing a political battle, you wedge.
   
8. Child actors; sigh.
   

The Outer Limits

Space travel, anyone?

"Keep This Private" My Ass

You can't throw around words like "privacy" when you don't have the God-given sense to use protection. WTF, Tiger?

Man; I hope this one is a flat-out lie.

"Tea Party" More Popular Than GOP, According To Poll

"You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation they turned to a man they didn't fully understand."

WTF, World?

(via). This ad was done in 2008. 2008.

It's Like "Wedding Crashers..."

....if you combined it with "Line of Fire."

No Main Topic

1. The perks of being president.
2. That's Greek to me.
3. Operation: Consensus.
   
4. I knew these two movies were going to be compared to one another when they came out; I just new it.
5. Yet another "why you're fat" study.
6. No sports sex scandal is complete without a porn star in the mix. Thanks a lot, Tiger.
7. The BCS schedule is out.
8. Reason #4,230 that Congress-critters don't want to leave office once they get in.
   

Around The Internets

1. You'll regret.
2. Sam Walton would be proud...not wait; no he wouldn't.
3. In today's "WTF, Miley Cyrus?"
   
4. Ten fattest coaches in football.
5. "You expect me to talk?" "No, Mr. Bond; I expect you to bang lots of women."
6. These are a few of my favorite things.
7. Will Ferrell's dream job.
   
8. Killer of innocent people plans to retire and teach.
9. Tiger-Tiger Woods, ya'll!
   

(Mis) Diagnosis Murder

I guess third's times the charm when testing for the flu, unless you're near death.

This One Time, At Band Class...

...The teacher was caught writing sick sexual notes to students, and was put on Adminstrative Leave.

GOP: It's Al Franken's Fault We Voted Against An Anti-Rape Bill

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Can't Take Them Seriously

Here are some examples of why more liberal-minded people are turned off by the average conservative, while the average person doesn't pay attention to politics until it gets closer to election time.

1. The belief that the term "Teabagger" should be the conservative version of the N-word.
2. Suggesting that the lighting of the National Christmas Tree will drain all the power from DC.
3. Implying that the changes made to the "Sun-Maid Girl" have turned her into a slut.
4. Anti-immigrant group removes support from anti-immigrant Lou Dobbs for not being anti-immigrant enough.

Why Reggie Bush Won't Let Kim Kardashian Go Again

She cooks for him (soul food). People can say what they want about this woman, but she looks good (even without makeup), can cook and seems to be genuinely nice (at least to her family and Bush, which is all that matters really).

No Main Topic

1. Well, he can always make movies at home.
2. NBComcast.
3. Come back, (Tai) Shan!
   
4. Optimistic.
5. The irony is: even if he could create jobs right now, people would then blame Obama for expanding government.
6. Even scientists need help sometimes.
7. And when will the movie version be out?
8. You won't like them when they're angry...
   

Welcome To The Viral Side Of The Internets, Tiger Woods

Hope you survive the experience.

Sometimes I Wonder

So Media Matters is doing what they usually do: cover conservative-minded stupidity in the news:

Way back in 2007, Media Research Center president L. Brent Bozell III wrote a column chastising the media for giving celebrities -- liberal celebrities like Alec Baldwin and Sean Penn, in particular -- platforms from which to opine on matters of national significance. Bozell's argument, in a nutshell, was that these celebrities, for all their passion and verbosity, are no more "mentally impressive than a plate of mashed potatoes."

And then something in the next paragraph catches my eye:

Well, Bozell must have a very soft definition of "mentally impressive," as NewsBusters announced this morning that their newest blogger is "legendary country and rock musician" Charlie Daniels, best known for his 1979 hit, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." Daniels' lesser-known works include crypto-Confederate anthems like "The South's Gonna Do It Again," and charmingly offensive anti-Muslim ditties like "This Ain't No Rag, It's a Flag." Just to dispel any doubt as to what kind of "rag" Daniels was singing about, the first line of the song helpfully explains that "we don't wear it on our heads."

Again, the entire first line goes, "This ain't no rag, it's a flag and we don't wear it on our heads. It's a symbol of the land where the good guys live. Are you listening to what I said?"

Yes indeedy; the American Flag is used only to honor our troops and display our patriotism. The idea that someone would use it as headgear is just...







...crazy. OK; well, at least animals don't where our Flag. Such a thought would be

George Will's Bottom Line

President Obama's plan for Afghanistan is exactly like President Bush's plan for Iraq in every way, meaning Obama's foreign policy will fail like Bush's...except for different reasons.

Cracked.com's seanbaby Channels ESPN's Bill Simmons

No; seriously.

No Main Topic

1. Don't know how many times it has to be said that Iraq and Afghanistan are two different countries.
2. Well, at least now Comcast can get a cooler logo.
3. I'm still not going business with them until everything's paid back.
4. I wonder why they would say that?
   

A Day In The Life Of...Optimus Prime

8:00am: Go over Decepticon-killing strategy with Prowl and Ultra Magnus.

9:15am: Humor human Spike with baseball game using ridiculously-sized equipment; marvel at how a human can hit a pitch from a living robot without shattering every bone in their body.

10:47am: Get alert message from human scientist, who just now announces that they were making a device to harness energy more efficiently, and instead of asking the Autobots for guidance/security 10 months ago, decide to wait until his lab gets attacked by Deceptions.

10:56am: Round up Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, Huffer, Ratchet, Gears, Jazz, and Silverstreak for a mission to save the humans and their heretofore unknown revolutionary energy device.

10:58am: On second thought, screw that noise; take the Dinobots, the Monsterbots, Omega Supreme, Sideswipe, Warpath, Springer, Sky Lynx, and let's fuck this chicken. Oh, and bring some tough, experienced witnesses. Have Bumblebee and Spike go on "a mission" to get the team better motor oil.

11:36am: Arrive at the scene, which was conveniently close and accessible by both sky and ground. Make a quick mention about not harming humans since one of the Dinobots made a claim to "Destroy anything that moves."

11:37am: Watch Starscream and Seekers attack from sky; hesitate a second while Sideswipe, Warpath and Omega Supreme start shooting, then give the order from them to hold their fire.

11:37:25am: Wait for Seekers to transform into robot mode, ask them why they are here, tell them to give up and made some side comment about Megatron not being around to do his own dirty work.

11:37:31am: Upon receiving expected retort from Starscream, pull out Giant Gun Of Awesome and blow off his head. Ask if any other Decepticons would like to argue.

11:37:34am: Open fire on remaining Decepticons, including the ones retreating and offering to surrender.

11:41am: Have Decepticon remains loaded into Sky Lynx to send to Megatron as "a gift." Remind Sideswipe to include a bomb with a timer in the "gift." Order other Autobots to help clean up the mess and go schmooze with the human scientist.

12:03am: Listening to human scientist go on and on about how "in the wrong hands" his device could be used "to destroy the earth" completely oblivious to the fact that he's talking to an advanced 30-foot living robot with guns who commands an entire army of living robots also with guns. Gently remind human that the damage to his lab/base/whatever would not have happened had he told the Autobots about his project earlier.

1:07pm: Tell Autobots it's time to "transform and roll out!" ignoring Sky Lynx's observation that most of them are not cars and trucks, much less vehicles.

1:25pm: Receive a message from Bumblebee that on his way to the freaking Auto Zone he and Spike were attacked (naturally) by the Stunticons. Make a detour to AZ with Sideswipe and Springer and tell Sky Lynx to go with the rest back to base and assemble another team.

12:25:23pm: Explain to Warpath that he's too fucking slow to get to the Auto Zone. Explain to other Autobots that like #21 and #23, Bumblebee is both extremely expendable from a war perspective yet has an uncanny ability to survive capture and battles.

12:40pm: Watch "The Sound Of Music" in private quarters.

3:25pm: Get word from Cosmos that not only has Bumblebee and Spike eluded the Stunticons with negligible injuries (of course), they've also found a plot by Megatron to create a dangerous new energy source using oil and diamonds.

3:31pm: Have Perceptor explain how that could even be remotely possible.

5:17pm: Stop Perceptor from talking, ask him to explain so that an Earthling could understand.

5:34pm: Have Hound, Cliffjumper and Powerglide do recon. Humor human Spike with hockey game using ridiculously-sized equipment; marvel at how a human can save a goal with a puck stuck by a living robot without it being embedded in his lung.

Barack Obama's Bottom Line

I didn't want this or start this, but it's mine to deal with and now it's time to grow up and finish it.

Baltimore Mayor Must Have Read the Bizzaro Bible

Because the actual one talks about helping the poor, not taking advantage of them.

LeBron James' Bottom Line

"If I ruled the world...I'd free all my sons..."

New Iron Man 2 Stills.

Yummy.

Zombie Reagan To The Rescue

Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP

"Clips Are Inserted Into My Gun..."

"...So I can take the money; never have to run."

"The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers. "

Funny how when right-wing politicos switch sides, they get attacked mercilessly by their former "friends."

No Main Topic

1. This might hurt Huckabee's presidential aspirations.
2. One Baldwin down...
3. If only every child molester could have it so good. Oh, wait...
4. It's amazing that politicians are endorsing or condemning something that hasn't been announced yet.