Your Life May Suck If...

You make 100K a year and can't buy a house.

Rich Guy Mad That He Can't Have All The Money In The World

Seriously, these guys cry over what's a drop in the bucket to them yet scoff at people who barely have enough money to buy food.

About That Attandence Count At Glenn Beck's Rally

The question isn't really how many people attended, but rather how many people who didn't support Beck, the conservative movement or Republicans in general attended.

Seriously: how many people who were Obama-voters, progressives and/or Democrats who changed their minds (and didn't just attend to observe and/or mock the event) showed up?

Because otherwise, you can just say a portion of Beck's TV/radio audience took a field trip.

Guess America Has Spoken...

A Gallup Poll shows the GOP is favored. Surely this is a sign that Barack Obama must resign and hand the Presidency over to to its rightful heir: Sarah Palin.

OR, maybe the Administration (and the Democrats in Congress) should stop acting like every little tepid move they make is going to cost them a buhmillion independent voters. Maybe these guys should stop freaking out over their opponent's base and start paying attention to their own.

No Main Topic

1. “It was very helpful in the war,’’ said James Lewis, a senior fellow at the Center for Strategic and International Studies who helped the Pentagon research the use of biometric data in counterterrorism. “Now that the war is over, the question is: What do you do with it?’’
2. "This is the first time we have been able to peer into the [genetic data] of many thousands of people and find genetic clues to understand common migraine."
3. "If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am then putting a [scram] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room, because I would have had to come down from all the things that people say I'm taking and my father says I'm taking – so that says something, because I was fine."
4. “Between 1995 and 2008, the proportion of potential recruits who failed their physicals each year because they were overweight rose nearly 70 percent.”
5. "As she began to open it, I saw a small bindle of what I believed to be cocaine in a clear baggy begin to fall from the purse and into my hand," Flynn wrote. "I then immediately took the purse and dropped the bindle back on the top," waiting for another officer to witness the recovery.

My Mind Is Playing Tricks On Me

Your mind is fooling you. Your mind is fooling you. Did you see the gorilla? You're repressing a disturbing memory, but don't worry; it's based of a fake photograph you saw years ago. Your mind is fooling you. There was no gorilla. Remember how cool you were in high school? Well, were you really? Your mind is fooling you.

No Main Topic

1. “China’s always had a major industrial policy. But for a space of a few years, it looked like China was turning away from an active and interventionist industrial policy in favor of a more hands-off approach.”
2. "It is the height of journalistic irresponsibility to make public these deeply flawed judgments about a teacher's effectiveness."
3. "At present we are experiencing increasing demand for the online product," a statement from the publisher said. "However, a print version will certainly be considered if there is sufficient demand at the time of publication."
4. “Tobacco advertising is still alive and well,’’ said Dr. Michael Siegel, a tobacco control specialist at the Boston University School of Public Health. “There’s a widespread perception that somehow the tobacco advertising has gone away, that it’s been taken care of, that we don’t have to worry about this anymore. But that’s not true.’’
5. "This cowardly crime, and the reprehensible violent acts that occurred recently in this state, strengthen the commitment of the Mexican government to continue fighting the criminal gangs that seek to intimidate the families of Tamaulipas," President Felipe Calderon's office said in a statement.

Around The Internets

1. Was J.J Abrams' "Star Trek" movie basically just the first "Star Wars" story superimposed on a "prequel" Star Trek universe? Well...
2. Fucking. Awesome.
   
3. I don't remember reading about this happening during The War.
4. Music Wars.
5. Politicizing comics? Really? People should vote against this lady on stupidity alone.
   

The One Issue Where Congress Should Do Nothing

The guys over at TPM explain.

No Main Topic

1. "Having been raised by a psychiatrist, I was told anything psychological was a mental illness. Then I saw (the 1973 feature) "The Exorcist" and it changed everything. It really freaked me out. I told my dad, 'What's this whole possession thing you've never told me about?' He said, 'Don't worry about that. We're Jews. We don't believe in that.'"
2. "there was a mentality in Washington which says you put the best face on everything."
3. “It’s all hush-hush now — like everybody’s supposed to be positive because they got stuff,” said Bill Drury, a farmer, who groaned that even his local banker kept an egg figurine on his desk, a gift from the DeCosters. “I get blacklisted all over the place for saying it, but DeCoster goes to the lowest degree of compliance for everything. That’s the problem. He’s a bad actor.”
4. "The observation will give us new information about a system of orbiting planets that's quite different from our own solar system. It gives us clues about the composition of these planets and actually helps us to search for other planets in the planetary system even though the planets don't transit."
5. "There's an old adage that you're never as bad as you think you are when you lose, never as good as you think you are when you win,'' coach Jim Caldwell said. "There were some positive things in there, but we were not as sharp as we'd like to be.
6. "I don't really think mayor's about qualifications, but people liking you."
7. "Whether Kenya allows a suspected war criminal into Kenya is a test of the government's commitment to a new chapter in ensuring justice for atrocities," said Elise Keppler, senior counsel in the International Justice Program at Human Rights Watch. "The Kenyan government should stand with victims, not those accused of horrible crimes, by barring al-Bashir from Kenya or arresting him."

American Idol: We're Autotune-Free

I dunno...considering how only every other winner seems to be able make more than one decent album, maybe they should start.

Flooding In Pakistan Is Getting Worse

400,000 people being asked to get out of dodge? Yikes.

No Main Topic

1. "I would put this at the tough end of things. It's not mission impossible but it's a difficult mission."
2. "This therapy results in dramatic responses for patients -- it's phenomenal. I've been taking care of patients with advanced melanoma for 25 years and this is one of the most important breakthroughs we've seen."
3. "We were not attacked by the Muslim world," said Donna O'Connor, spokeswoman for September 11th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows, whose pregnant daughter was killed in the World Trade Center attacks. "We 100 percent fully support the Islamic cultural center in New York City."
4. "Salmonella enteritidis contamination of poultry products appears to approach epidemic proportions and the dangers of contamination are very real," wrote the federal judge, Herbert L. Murray. "However, the state of Maryland cannot act, on its own initiative, to protect the citizens of another state from eggs that the Maryland Department of Agriculture suspects might be contaminated."
5. "I don't know how anyone could, you know, go to bed and sleep at night knowing that they've just locked a cat in a wheelie bin."

How Tyler Perry Writes White Women

Via Cracked.com, of course.



The 5 White Characters in Every Tyler Perry Movie -- powered by Cracked.com

No Main Topic

1. Iraq's problems aren't going to just disappear.
2. Lindsay Lohan is out again.
3. Meet the future of the Republican Party.
4. Buying a home is still risky.
5. The Most Stupidest Thing In This World.
6. With this gaining a growing fanbase, it's funny to remember a time when Mortal Kombat was considered too violent.
7. The one issue that makes Elisabeth Hasselbeck more liberal than Barack Obama.
   

Rachel Maddow: Conservatives Still Trying to Scare White People

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

No Main Topic

1. Is anyone really surprised?
2. Mitt Romney tries too hard.
3. This is what I'd call a "terrorism problem."
4. Katy Perry talks about her new album.
5. Are these guys Activist Judges?
   

Albert Haynesworth Should Be Benched

It doesn't matter whether Washington has a veteran coach or a newbie; players who have a nice paycheck will show their ass and challenge authority. Bill Simmons said years ago the way to deal with these immature malcontents is a quasi-permanent benching (loss of money be damned), but pro sports are notoriously wishy-washy in dealing harshly with players they given dumptrucks full of cash to.

And it's not like this is Tom Brady we're talking about. This is a guy who barely passed the conditioning tests (a story that became a running joke after retired players and local sportscasters begin acing said tests).

Seriously, I don't know why this is so hard: if you want to play, you practice.

Around the Internets

1. Unlikely similarities.
2. It's not that hard to figure out who wore it best.
3. Why some guys will never truly "get" the girl.
4. If someone invites you to one of these museums, odds are they want you dead.
5. I really don't buy the "hot geek" thing, but whatever.
6. Comic Book University? Sign me up!
7. Just when I think I'm done with television, they introduce new shows.
8. Don't think for a minute that companies like GM actually want the economy to turn around.
9. All I can say is "Heh." (h/t)
10. The Boondocks is educational.
11. Really, people: stop paying for this stuff.
    

No Main Topic

1. "The nightmare that began July 30 is finally over."
2. "He's a busy person, the type of guy who will leave his truck doors open and the engine running in the parking lot. He's possessed with doing business."
3. "His game of cat and mouse went all wrong."
4. "There's a declining trend which is good to see. But we haven't made nearly enough progress."
5. “We think we are very, very close to a decision by the parties to enter into direct negotiations. We think we’re well positioned to get there.”

Young Women Use Their Bodies To Get Money

Did I mention that they were robbing banks?

No Main Topic

1. “The really big picture that we have seen in Iraq over the last year and a half to two years is this: the number of violent incidents is significantly down, the competence of Iraqi security forces is significantly up, and politics has emerged as the basic way of doing business in Iraq.”
2. "The cumulative sentiment here is that he made a fortune off of the state’s resources in the free-wheeling laissez-faire times of the late nineteenth century, prostituted the political system with his wealth and power, exploited the working class for his own gain, left an environmental wreck behind and took his millions to other places to benefit a handful of others. And in some ways, the state has never really recovered from it all."
3. Do people really think that he would have been elected POTUS if this was true?
4. “It is always a separate question . . . as to how people did their jobs on a particular night, but I find nothing amiss or in need of change in any of our policies.’’
5. "Simply everyone understands we are enforcing simple rules: One cannot just illegally occupy land without authorization."

Want Proof That NOBODY Owns The Liberal/Progressive Movement? (Or *Any* Movement, For That Matter)

Howard "Don't Compromise on Health Care Reform" Dean proposes a...compromise for the whole Not a Mosque That's Not Really At Ground Zero non-story.

The lesson, cats and kittens: no one can claim to be the voice/symbol/leader of progressives and every time someone tries to claim that mantle (or has it thrust upon them) someone or something will inevitably come along to prove them "unworthy."

Now don't get me wrong; the same can be said for conservatives; especially after they get into office and realize that they'll have to temper some of their "beliefs" if they want to get anything passed, get re-elected or move to higher office.

Truly, if there are any pure liberals (or conservatives) those men and women would never run for office in the first place; they're essentially modern-day political Rorschachs and anyone who knows "Watchmen" knows that a Rorschach doesn't ever compromise, not even in the face of Armageddon.

And sense politics is the art of compromise, well...therein lies the quandry.

These Are The End Times

Pat Buchanan lectures Newt Gingrich on the Mulsim Community Center non-story.

Read that sentence again.

Oh yeah: KO reminds us that this is no Mosque.

No Main Topic

1. "I'm not retiring. I'm not quitting. I feel energized actually, stronger and freer to say the things that I believe need to be said for people in this country."
2. "His speech was slightly slurred but he was compliant. He was slightly upset due to the fact of his cat and what had just happened."
3. “Every time I see how many tomatoes are coming in, I just can’t believe it. I’ve never seen so many huge tomatoes. When I see what we’re producing, I say to myself, ‘Oh, my God.’ ’’
4. “We should be ashamed of the way we led the country.”
5. "We believe that her thoughts were for me to be free and to do what I wish to do, whatever that may be, if I didn't have the children, I will get rid of them.

Is It Really Better To Do Nothing?

A Question that is (kinda) asked over at Subnormality.

Meet Dr. Wallace Loh

The new President for UMCP.

No Main Topic

1. "This shows the mentality of the occupier."
2. “Moreover, the disclosure . . . was a reckless and illegal violation of her right to privacy which has exposed her to great risk.’’
3. "We always encourage people to not click on links that appear suspicious - even if posted from a friend."
4. “Let’s hope it’s not our Three Mile Island.”
5. “They’re exerting a lot of influence on the global economy and becoming dominant in Asia. A lot of other economies in the region are essentially riding on China’s coat tails, and this is remarkable for an economy with a low per capita income.”

One Person's Dream Is Another Person's Nightmare

Heh.

No Main Topic

1. "Mr. Haslem was traveling eastbound on the Gratigny between 42 and 57 Avenue at approximately 3:05 p.m. During the traffic stop the trooper smelled an odor of marijuana from within the vehicle."
2. "The fallacy is that Al Qaeda attacked us. Islam did not attack us."
3. “All evidence collected thus far indicates that he took his own life. Nonetheless, as with all such cases, a comprehensive investigation will be conducted to determine the facts and circumstances surrounding his death.’’
4. "Actress Zsa Zsa Gabor has seen a priest and is not doing very well. She's in serious condition. She asked to see a priest and receive her last rites."
5. "I am sorry from my heart. No way did I want my partner to be infected."
6. “The president didn’t send me over here to seek a graceful exit. My marching orders are to do all that is humanly possible to help us achieve our objectives.”
   
   

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World: An (almost) Epic Journey

Without getting too much into the plot of the story (if you saw the trailers, you pretty much know the plot anyway) I wanted to watch the movie for two reasons: lead actor Michael Cera and director Edgar Wright.

With Cera, my concern was his ability to come off as tough as Scott Pilgrim does in the comic. See, Cera comes from the Jesse Eisenberg/Tobey Maguire/Elijah Wood brand of soft-spoken, faintly neurotic-yet-charming class of male actors that women (for some reason) find so appealing. Somehow, Cera manages to pull it off: his Scott switches from affectionate to courageous to complete asshole throughout the movie, but you never feel that the actor is struggling. A far cry from his performance in *shudder* "Year One."

With Wright, it was whether he can carry the magic he made with his own personal works ("Shaun of the Dead," "Hot Fuzz") into a picture based on someone else's genius. There are many directors who made their splash directing outside the box only to fall into the trap known as adaptation; for some it's become a default career choice (Tim Burton and M. Night Shyamalan, for different reasons). But the difference here is Wright doesn't approach this as "I'm the director so I'm doing this my way" as much as the Robert Rodriguez way of "I'm adapating as much of this as humanly possible without looking like a shameless cut-and-paste." And this works. I've read that Quentin Tarantino, Kevin Smith and other pseudo-quasi-indie directors have praised this film; but it's clear that only someone lie Wright could have pulled this off. Tarantino would have had decent fight scenes, but my God, the dialogue would have been awful. Smith would have gone video game reference crazy (trust me on this one). Adapted works need a delicate balance; the director has to understand that while you need to be true to the source material, the bottom line is movies are a different medium and the delivery may have to altered to fit it. Wright does that quite effectively.

So in all, I give the flick 3 &1/2 stars out of 5. Warning: if you've never even read the comic, let me just say that you shouldn't go see this looking for realism. Otherwise, you'll be just fine.

Around the Internets

(pic via).

1. America's Best Colleges.
2. "Terror Babies?" Seriously?
3. Beware these office co-workers.
4. Donald Ducks' been bad.
5. Anyone still need a reason to vote in November?
   

Death Doesn't Stop Hollywood From Exploiting The Talent

Yeah, it's from Cracked.com the comedy website, but every now and then they pull out a nugget of truth. Take the case of Peter Sellers:

In the midst of replaying favorite moments from the past Pink Panther films, the second half of Trail of the Pink Panther somehow manages to forget that it's supposed to be a comedy and instead centers around a plucky lady reporter trying to locate the missing Clouseau. Predictably, her pluck proves to be no match for Sellers being stone fucking dead, and the movie just ends with Clouseau never found. No resolution at all.

By the way, an entire additional movie, Curse of the Pink Panther, continued the "Search for Clouseau" storyline, and when the inspector is finally found he's played by Roger Moore with a bucket on his head.

Sellers's widow actually filed a lawsuit against the film's producers, claiming that the movie was a cheap insult to her husband's memory, and she wound up winning a $1.5 million settlement. So essentially, Trail of the Pink Panther was so shitty that those responsible had to be brought to justice.

Completely Out Of Touch...

...especially when you say that people are being lazy by taking welfare and should accept a lower-paying job that won't even cover their basic bills.

Props to KO for highlighting this.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

No Main Topic

1. Have to keep an eye on the N.E. Patriots.
2. What good is a sobriety check if people know it's coming? Oh well; thanks!
3. Lindsay Lohan will return to New York.
4. Fog is the PGA's kryptonite.
5. Jennifer Aniston's awesome comeback to Bill O'Reilly.
6. Shorter Google: Trust Us.
7. Next time someone complains about government bureaucracy, tell them about the Alzheimer's breakthrough.
8. What better way to remember (the end of) WWII?
   

Kim Possible, Agent of Shield?

Yeah, I'd read/watch it. Who said Disney + Marvel couldn't = AWESOME?

No Main Topic

1. "It’s hurtful. She was always really harsh on the girls. And when she says things like 'present yourself better,' 'wear lots of makeup,' 'do 20 sit-ups,' it gets to you after a while."
2. "I believe his motivation is pure hatred."
3. “We’re talking about two to three years, where, relative to what you would have expected, growth will be disappointing.’’
4. “A lot of information is privileged and need-to-know. And there is just some information we won’t give out.”
5. "The politicians must find other ways to fill the void after 2011... If I were asked about the withdrawal, I would say to politicians: the U.S. army must stay until the Iraqi army is fully ready in 2020."
6. "Fantasia fell in love with Mr. Cook and believed that he loved her. Fantasia is heartbroken and is sorry for any pain she may have caused." (You don't say.)
   

Quote Of The Day

We on the left who paid attention didn't expect Barack Obama to be our big liberal buddy Christ. We did, however, take him at his word on a number of issues, like transparency, for instance. Instead, we're supposed to be grateful that bills with the names of items on the left-wing agenda got passed. Look at this big-ass new law. It says, "Health care." Ain't that cool?

Finally, fuck you, Mr. Press Secretariat, because you should be wooing the fuck out of us. You should be trying to get in our underwear and hand job us with a smile on your face instead of treating us like a convenient punching bag because you don't want to offend the precious "real America" or whatever bullshit phrase politicians want to use to isolate and alienate us. Why? Because we're the ones that made sure you are the Press Secretary.

-- Rude Pundit, responding to Press Sec. Gibbs' statement on "professional liberals."

If You're Going To Quit Your Job...

...you might as well do it like this guy.

No Main Topic

1. "I was trying to be noticed. I was trying to get my family back together. I didn't want to feel like I'm nothing anymore. It went wrong, it spread like crazy, and then it seemed like the whole world knew."
2. “Currently available clinical guidelines from the National Institutes of Health are based on evidence from the 1990s. These guidelines recommend that waist circumference be used to identify increased disease risk only among individuals in the overweight and obese categories of BMI.”
3. “It makes me kind of feel like I let my family down. I’m about to join the ranks of the homeless, and that’s a place I’ve never been.’’
4. “The funds saved will help us sustain the current force structure and make needed investments in modernization in a fiscally responsible way.”

Levi Johnston May Run For Mayor In Wasilla

'Nuff said.

Don't F**king Swear

Of all the things Goldman Sachs has done/allowed, to think they'd ban the use of curse words is..well...

No Main Topic

1. “The Iraqis have to understand the importance of forming the government.’’
2. “I thought, she’s too young. She’s still fearful about sleeping by herself. An 8-year-old just isn’t mature enough to handle this.”
3. "This investigation resulted in identification of the first documented outbreak of human salmonellosis linked to the use of dry dog and cat food."
4. "This was their way of saying 'We'll respond to military drills with military drills.'"
5. “In a world of limited resources, our time is better spent on someone who is here unlawfully and is committing crimes in the neighborhood. As opposed to someone who came to this country as a juvenile and spent the vast majority of their life here.”
6. “There’s not much help. We’re not living like human beings.’’

Around the Internets

1. In the real world, these guys would be shot dead or arrested. Still, the posters are awesome.
   
2. Republicans lie about tax cuts? Really? The heck, you say!
3. The thing about those fictional evil corporations I don't understand is how they got rich in the first place.
4. Sarah Palin truly is the Paris Hilton of Politics.
5. Hugh Hefner's little known role regarding Civil Rights.
6. A funny way of making a marriage work.
7. Every TV show has its breaking point.
8. 10 Medical Myths.
9. What's in your water? Well...
10. Shark Week: Comics-style.
11. Katy Perry vs. Lady Gaga.
    

"Chronicles of Narnia" Gets Another Shot

And here I thought they were done after Disney decided to drop the franchise. Personally, I thought the first two were pitch-perfect for kids whose parents may think Lord of the Rings was little too much. But then again, I'm just some random blogger.

No Main Topic

1. America's first test-tube baby tells her story.
2. Healthcare reform was a boost to Medicare? You don't say.
3. Not good news for the Denver Broncos.
4. Things are getting really sucky for Russia...I mean really sucky.
5. The Kama Sutra goes audio.
6. There's a new Judge in town.
7. We're getting closer to creating my army of cybernetic super-bees.
8. And this is why I have more red outfits.
   

The Tea Party Vs. The Anti-Iraq War Crowd

A few years ago, I remember reading a post on Daily Kos where kos himself was talking about activism, protesting and opposition to the Iraq War. If I recall correctly, it was during the time when Cindy Sheehan made a splash for wanting to know "what noble cause" her son died for, and much like Michael Moore's ill-fated quest to talk to the CEO of GM, Sheehan wanted to ask this question of then-President George W. Bush.

Anyway, kos pretty much concluded that the old-fashion protesting (of the 60's and 70's) doesn't have the impact it once did, and a new formula is needed. It was hard to disagree with him at the time; after all, netroots organizing was gaining steam and the media barely covered Sheehan after five or six months (although she did find a home at Moore's site).

(I should mention that early on, Sheehan and those who started to follow her represented two simultaneous groups: people who opposed the Iraq War and people who disliked Bush's policies. Sheehan had done what many -including elected Democrats- could do: put a face to the opposition.)

Naturally Sheehan's presence meant the Rush Limbaughs and Fox News of the world had to attack her as a nut or a camera-obsessed wannabe celebrity or both. Sheehan's personal life suffered, but her resolve allowed her to press on. It wasn't until she decided to run against Nancy Pelosi that some Democrats and progressives started to shake their heads.

I mention this because now with Barack Obama in office, the right has their own version of the Sheehan-led crusade (or they would, if it wasn't backed by ex-GOP operatives): The Tea Party. they are essentially made up of people who oppose the current President and/or his policies. The difference is that there's no Cindy Sheehan; no individual to identify the group.

In a sense, it may explain their longevity, despite their list of political failures. In Sheehan's case, the cause could be killed or silenced if she was out of the picture. With the Tea Party, their are so many factions and off-shoots, you can't tie every flub and fuck-up to the brand; they'll just chalk it up as the actions of "rogue operatives" or "liberal infiltrators" trying to derail their good work.

Another possible explanation could be the subject itself: as the new outlets decided to report on the war less and less, the figures personifying various points of view found their roles diminished. On the other hand, a crappy economy and high unemployment is harder to gloss over because it happening here and not on another continent. And as long as the Tea Party uses the simple and flawed formula of "Bad Economy + High Unemployment = Obama's Policies" then they'll be considered newsworthy.

Still, going back to my first paragraph, it doesn't fit with kos' statement: by all accounts, the feeling back then was that old-fashioned protests were "out of style" and giving way to a more tech-savvy way of forming opposition. It wasn't long ago that conservatives thought that they could use Twitter to make a political comeback, afterall. If this is all still true, what has really been keeping the Tea Party, who are also doing the old-fashion protesting thing, alive?

Lady Looses Cat & Asks Co-Worker To Design a Flyer; Hilarity Ensues.

Heh.

Book 'Em, Danno

Anyone wanna buy Barnes & Noble?

Charley Rosen On The Shaq/Celtics Signing

Basically, Rosen says that if Shaq is willing to be a good role player, Boston could be a legitimate threat.

No Main Topic

1. “Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California constitution the notion that opposite-sex couples are superior to same-sex couples.’’
2. "Since we launched the original 'Pop Idol' in England, I've remained close with Simon Fuller. 'American Idol' became a juggernaut of epic proportions, but to me it was always like home. I am elated and honored to be rejoining childhood friend and fellow executive producer Ken Warwick, and look forward to creating more magic."
3. “It ticks me off when someone fails or has an incident; they focus on the paper rather than the process that was gone through.”
4. "I was self-medicating at this point. The moral of the story is that the dog saved my life, because otherwise I never would have gone in to see a doctor."
5. “Because high birth weight predicts BMI later in life, these findings suggest that excessive weight gain during pregnancy could raise the long-term risk of obesity-related disease in offspring. High birth weight might also increase risk of other diseases later in life, including asthma, atopy, and cancer.”

What Does The Movie "Inception" Have In Common With Scrooge McDuck?

If you believe this, just the plot.

Cracked.com On Political Cartoons...

...sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.

Sometimes The Mask Slips...

...or in Glenn Beck's case: sometimes he forgets to take the hood off.

Like Father Like Son

Dan Quayle's son wants to run for office in Arizona, but he just got married and doesn't have the prerequisite children needed to show that he's a responsible, caring figure.

Not a problem.

UPDATE: They may not be his children, but they are related to him. I don't know why his ad didn't hint at that; having nieces/nephews in your political ad is just as good as having daughters/sons.

No Main Topic

1. “I feel a weird sense of survivor’s guilt. So many people died in Haiti, and I was able to get the life I’ve wanted.”
2. "I think local law enforcement officials have had the authority for a number of years. We believe our state and local officers have the ability to make those inquiries . . . and turn them over for the appropriate proceedings."
3. “We like to get a good return on our investment. The backbone of this country has been made by first-generation [immigrants] coming here, educating their children, and living the American dream.’’
4. "He'll get out and start practicing soon enough. It's good that he's out there to hear the calls, to see the stunts and to get a mental rep. It's a benefit for him being out here."
5. "What Bristol told People is that on the very day that the world learned they were going to get married; Levi came home and said to her that he may have gotten another woman pregnant."
6. "More still has to be processed."
7. "We've made bitter choices. In the last three years Pennsylvania has raised more than a billion dollars in new revenue and we've cut spending by over $3.5 billion. It's not like we haven't done anything and we're coming to Washington and saying, 'Bail us out.'"
8. "I can only say that based on the evidence in the trial, it is absolutely clear that allowing gays and lesbians to marry will strengthen families and the nation. No matter how the judge rules tomorrow, we've already won a significant victory because the other side admitted they have no argument."

Dismisal Drives Debt-Ridden Ex-Employee Over The Edge

By now the news is out regarding the shooting in Connecticut that left nine dead. But let's not gloss over the perpetrator's situation/mindset:

Public records show that Mr. Thornton graduated from East Hartford High School in 1996. He ran into financial trouble several years later and filed for bankruptcy in Connecticut in 2000. At the time, Mr. Thompson owed money to a dozen creditors, including American Express, Sprint and Sallie Mae.

This guy was drowning in debt and his outlets was his job and guns. And truth be told, the job thing wasn't exactly working out:

Joanne Hannah, who said her daughter Kristi had been dating the suspect for the past eight years, said that Mr. Thornton, who is black, had been having problems with co-workers. “Things were being put on the bathroom walls,” including “a hangman noose,” Ms. Hannah said.

But with his job gone and his bills piling up, he had only one outlet left. Not to say what he did was right (it wasn't) but we need to start having serious conversations about debt in this country. To date the solutions have been either (a) lower taxes and let people figure it out on their own; (b) change work benefits and let people figure it out on their on; or (c) tell people to get a second and/or third job and let them figure it out on their own.

Thing is, most people don't know how they got into debt (it's not like they planned it), so when are we go to start working on that aspect as opposed to assuming that LESS EXPENSES and/or MORE INCOME = DEBT PROBLEM FIXED for everyone who owes an ungodly amount of money?

"Funky Winkerbean" Is Seven Shades of Depressing

I mean, WOW.

Tokyo Lost A 113-Year-Old Woman

Quite a feat, actually.

No Main Topic

1. "None of us could swim. They were yelling 'help me, help me. Somebody please help me.' It was nothing I could do but watch them drown one by one."
2. “The irony is that the safeguards [to protect human test subjects] are blocking, it seems to me, the quick implementation of an intervention that could help mitigate the disabilities that result from the signature wound of the war.’’
3. "Cartilage is one of the most resistant tissues for regeneration. This is the first time an entire cartilage joint was regenerated. By successfully regenerating cartilage in this way, we hope that this approach would work with other tissues without cell transplantation."
4. “As a candidate for president, I pledged to bring the war in Iraq to a responsible end. Shortly after taking office, I announced our new strategy for Iraq and for a transition to full Iraqi responsibility. And I made it clear that by Aug. 31, 2010, America’s combat mission in Iraq would end. And that is exactly what we are doing, as promised and on schedule.”
5. "It is very sad, and we believe that it is the work of those forces who want to destabilize the elected government."
6. "It's possible you're going to have a couple of months where it goes up. But what we expect to see ... is an economy that's gradually healing, of course we want to do what we can to reinforce that process."

Quote Of The Day

"[Lindsay] feels that she deserved to spend a day with her family after she behaved well in jail."

A source to People Magazine, regarding Lindsay Lohan stint in jail. If only every convicted criminal could get such a luxury.

No Main Topic

1. "The court order specified that certain named people would pick her up. It's our understanding she went directly to a treatment center."
2. "What we're looking to do is difficult, very difficult, but it's a fairly modest goal."
3. “Now we have a whole generation of students who’ve grown up with information that just seems to be hanging out there in cyberspace and doesn’t seem to have an author. It’s possible to believe this information is just out there for anyone to take.”
4. "I don't see any reason why we should renew a tax cut that only gives a tax cut to the wealthiest people in America, increases the deficit, and doesn't create jobs. That doesn't make any sense."
5. "The bottom line is that adequate recovery is important for coping with the effects of chronic sleep restriction on the brain."
6. "He was a person who moved within the Andean religious structure. Whether he's a priest or not, if he's committed a crime, he won't get any kind of protection when he faces justice."

Around the Internets

1. Good ways to save some cash.
2. These jobs don't really need a college degree.
3. Ladies & Gents: Chris Claremont. Mileage may very, of course.
   
4. The Rocketeer is making a comeback.
5. Not every masterpiece was appreciated when it first came out.
6. Comicon Costumes.
7. Meanwhile, on that other Earth...
8. Happy B-day, Kate Beckinsale.
9. The best Black Comic Heroes (with a villain or two).
10. The Reggie Bush scrubbing project continues.
11. Rappers can be positive.
12. Every celebrity has a stinker they'd rather people not remember.