Friday, February 04, 2011

9 G.I. Joe Vehicles That Could Equal Easy Victory: Part Four

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER: They can call it whatever they want; anyone who's watched Star Wars: The New Hope knows that this thing is basically an Americanized Sandcrawler. Not that I'm complaining. In fact, just imaging a row of these barreling down a highway is enough to make me find something white to wave. While it would be nice to have a toilet and shower included, war requires sacrifices. As for the question of fuel costs, I have a feeling that this thing was made specifically to invade oil-rich nations. I also like how the prison cell (where the battle armored Cobra Commander is) is basically a metal closet.

GENERAL: How badass is that name? It fits because this shit is in charge. America could put one of these near every "trouble spot" and just demoralize the enemy into submission. I mean, just look at the missile launcher in the center; what the hell is it aiming at, a fucking satellite? Oh, and it includes a mini helicopter, which must play the role of Silver Surfer to this things Galaticus.

I can just hear a future US President threaten a dictator by saying, "Do I need to send in the General?" followed by news of a peace treaty ceremony being scheduled the next day.

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