Oldie But Goodie From Emo Phillips

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

Another Freaky Teacher Has Sex With Students

This time it's a woman, and her students were between 14 and 15. And despite some video evidence, her lawyer wants to blame the kids, stating that "People are victimized by juveniles all the time."

Problem with that is: the tape shows her performing oral sex on one of the boys. Now, I don't want to get into an argument of the varying degrees on how someone could be victimized, but out of every possible sex act, doesn't oral sex make the abuser the most vulnerable, and by that I mean, she could have bitten "Captain Winky" off? Unless the lawyers can prove that these boys forced her to do this, I find it hard to believe that this particular case was about her trying to use her power over two young students.

But this is more than whether she was the instigator or not: there seems to be a disturbing trend of young teachers being accused of banging their students instead of educating them. Is it an age thing? Should there be a requirement that teachers have to be at least 40 before they can be trusted to teach middle school children? And on the student side, should there be some kind of sex education that involves something along the lines of, "Don't have sex with the people who work at your damn school?"

Quote of the Day

As bad as George W. Bush was, he revolutionized the presidency. He was the first president who only served the people that voted for him. He ran the country like a cable network; he only catered to his subscribers. Obama's main fault is not realizing that's kind of what people want. That whole trying-to-make-everybody-happy thing is done. People who voted for him want him to do what Bush did. And whoever's the next president will do what Bush did.



- - Chris Rock, in his Rolling Stone interview.

Around The Internets

• When you're so racist, a Fox News person has to correct you.
• Obamacare is helping adults.

Around the Internets

• A non-sexual harassment/rape allegation reason to not like Bill Cosby.
• My childhood says, "God Bless you!"
• Super Poker-playing computer.

Billionare Who Threatened Employees Over Voting Has a Change of Heart

What a class act.

Around the Internets

1. What you're seeing on Facebook isn't always the full story.
2. Let's talk about harassment.
3. Learn the conservative language.
4. Rude Pundit: Cop Protests and Protesting Cops.

Behold The Power of Sarah Palin

Former Alaskan Governor endorses Congressman Louie Gohmert; John Boehner is re-elected.

Remember: she was almost Vice President, y'all!

"What Happened When Two Students, One Black and One White, Participated in a Peaceful Protest"

Take a wild guess.

Around the Internets

1. Comics are just trying to make up for lots and lots of racism, trust me.
2. Princeton Mom is of the, "if you had fought back you wouldn't have been raped" crowd, so to hear her say that it can also be a "learning experience" is not that surprising.
3. Some of the power moves Marissa Mayer made when she went to Yahoo!.