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Blue eyes aren't as natural as you may think. Talk about Quacking the Duck: Congress decides to only extend the "Watch Everyone But The Terrorists" law for 15 days, and the Senate wants to (gasp!) add things to the stimulus package (aka Bush's bribe) that will help poor people and vets. The Celtics win without Garnett , but it was only Dallas. Microsoft wants Yahoo in the worst way . Antwan Jamison and Caron Butler will go to the NBA All-Star Game as reserves . The LA Lakers get Pao Gasol for Kwame Brown , a rookie and pocket lint. Eva Mendes checks into rehab .

Obviously, losing every early primary early and banking your nominations hopes on Florida was not a good strategy . On the other hand: investing in Yahoo may be a good idea. The Wizards will need some help with Tough Juice out for awhile. With a reporter dressing up as a bride and asking quarterbacks to marry her , the Superbowl has officially become a circus. Ethnic cleansing is taking place in Kenya , according to a US envoy.

But Congress is calling it a " stimulus package " because that sounds more warm and fuzzy: House leaders and the administration reached agreement today on a roughly $145 billion economic stimulus package that would quickly send payments to poor and middle-class workers while offering businesses one-time incentives to invest in new equipment and write off tax losses. In formally announcing the deal this afternoon, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), House Minority Leader John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) and Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson Jr. hailed it as a bipartisan effort that would help stimulate the economy by spurring consumer demand and creating new jobs. Under the plan, as many as 117 million people would get rebate checks. Individual income tax filers would receive up to $600, working couples would get up to $1,200, and those with children would get an additional $300 per child. But wait, there's more! Under the deal, nearly everyone earning a paycheck would receiv...

David Letterman proves that presidential wannabe John Edwards isn't as caught up about his follicles as the media is.

As only Tom Tomorrow can do.

C&L: Michael Savage gets ravaged by sponsors. Oliver Willis: The Anti-Choice crowd is weak . Glenn Greenwald: Democratic Senator Jay Rockefeller is fighting on the wrong side . Jurassicpork: Fall Back, Bill Clinton . More nasty rumors about Barack Obama . Unlike the person who posted this, I won't say that Camp Clinton was behind it. But it stinks just the same. "You're not one of those feminists, are you?" is one of ten things women don't want to hear from men .

Maria Sharapova is still kicking butt . Remember, she's the attractive tennis star that can win matches. Iraq's still a violent, bloody mess , BTW. Meanwhile: Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf is losing his posse . Former President Bill Clinton may be crossing the line in campaigning so heavily for his wife, Sen. Clinton. President Bush's bribe...er, "stimulus package" is making it's way through Congress today .

This is just sad . DAVOS, Switzerland (Reuters) - U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice sought to soothe investor fears about the U.S. economy on Wednesday, saying it was resilient and sound and that Washington remained open to trade and investment. In the keynote address at the World Economic Forum in Davos delivered against a backdrop of financial turmoil, Rice made a rare foray into world economics and urged her audience of business leaders to have confidence in the U.S. economy. "The U.S. economy is resilient, its structure is sound, and its long-term economic fundamentals are healthy. The United States continues to welcome foreign investment and free trade," she said. People in the US can't fill their tank, pay for their medicine or groceries and manage their mortgage and student loans but that doesn't stop Rice from trying to put a pair of rose-colored glasses on a group of people who aren't stupid enough to watch the Fox Business Channel. Seriously, doe...

It sounds like eBay's CEO may take a bow .

Tom Brady's not that hurt . The wall came tumbling down at the Gaza Strip. Paris Hilton vouches for Britney Spears' "mommy skills." It took the near-destruction of our economy, but President Bush and Congressional Democrats finally seem to be coming together . A link between weight-loss surgery and Type 2 diabeties has been found. Just how many falsehoods, misleading statements and lies did the Bush Administration tell to get the United States to support an attack on Iraq? About 935 . You know a robbery is going badly when the crooks are throwing the money they stole away .