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Too bad the FoxNews guys don't get interrupted by reality like this. The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c Wind Farm & Oil Spill www.colbertnation.com Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

Oh yeah .

“This is a day that we can be proud we have done something positive — to eradicate bullying and to demonstrate to this Commonwealth and to the nation that bullying will no longer be tolerated .’’ “If BP does not request these resources , then I can and I will.” "If I had surrendered 'The Tonight Show' and handed it over to somebody publicly and wished them well -- and then...six months later. But that's me, you know. Everyone's got their own, you know, way of doing things ." Two scary movies that are scary for two different reasons . Who would have though that the upsets would be in the Western Conference ? Bring the Ruckus .

I guess this means she should be among the next set of stars to visit the troops, right?

" I'd love to turn you on ." “ The teams that have beaten us are the teams that have 4-men that can shoot the three. It takes Kevin away from the basket. It spreads our defense.’’ “ Now let’s get to work .” " The Kennedys ." " I have nothing to say right now ." Future FoxNews contributor .

No, seriously : April 26 (Bloomberg) -- U.S. meat prices may rise to records this summer after farmers reduced hog and cattle herds to the smallest sizes in decades, the result of surging feed costs linked to demands for more ethanol. Wholesale pork jumped as much as 25 percent this month to 90.68 cents a pound last week, the highest since August 2008, U.S. Department of Agriculture data show. Beef climbed 22 percent this year to $1.6896 a pound on April 23, the most expensive since July 2008. Chicken’s gain in March was the most in 20 months.

That is so kick-ass. But is Gadget straddling the cop car, or is he jumping over it? And when did Penny get her license? And how did Brain fire that rocket launcher without any kickback? You know what...WHO CARES. This pic is awesome. Via the via .

Interesting . Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik calls Senate Bill 1070 a "stupid law" that will force officers to start profiling. He is one of the first local law enforcement officials to rebel against the law. "We don't need to enforce it. It would be irresponsible in my opinion to put people in the Pima County Jail at the taxpayers expense when i can give them to the Border Patrol," Dupnik said. [snip] The law also toughens restrictions on hiring illegal immigrants for day labor and knowingly transporting them. ABC15 has learned that pop star Shakira is plannning a visit to the Valley this week to speak with officials about the legislation. According to City of Phoenix spokeswoman Debra Stark, the singer could be in Phoenix Thursday, but the time and location for her appearance has not yet been set. The difference is Shakira isn't obligated to enforce the laws and the sheriff is. I can understand the guy challenging the law (it is racist and st...

Conan will do an interview one day after he's allowed to .

It's funny how conservatives and Republicans turned the flamethrower on ACORN for supposed trickery when the GOP in California thought it would be cool to pull a fast one on pot advocates : Orange County authorities are launching an investigation into possible voter registration fraud after a local newspaper reported over a hundred cases of voters being tricked into registering as Republicans by petitioners who asked them to sign petitions for, among other causes, legalizing pot. The Orange County Register reported last week that the Orange County District Attorney's office announced it would team up with the Secretary of State on the case, following a Register report that 99 written complaints were filed since March by voters who said they were registered as Republicans without their consent. Another 74 voters reached by the Register said they, too, were unwillingly made members of the GOP. They "were unwillingly made members of the GOP." Sounds like...

“ The situation is deteriorating rapidly, and it’s not clear who’s in a position to stop the Greeks from going into a default situation . That creates a spillover effect.” "This ordinance prevents restaurants from preying on children's' love of toys. This ordinance breaks the link between unhealthy food and prizes ." " In the worst-case scenario , this could also last months." “ In those awful seconds , the car door must have been flung open by the impact and my body rose in the air until gravity took over and I was pulled, hard and fast, back to earth. The whole time, I was praying that the person in the other car was alive. In my mind, I was calling ‘Please, God. Please, God. Please, God,’ over and over and over again.” " I'm not really happy right now with anybody ."

Hey Dallas Mavs fans: want to know why you're one game from elimination ?

" Depressed mood was significantly related to higher chocolate consumption ." "Social networking sites are a Wild West of the Internet; users need ability to control private information and fully understand how it's being used ." " If we continue to grow , maybe we'll talk about that sometime later." “There’s no reason to go to a vote today except to spot the Republicans, to say we’re in favor of Wall Street and they’re in favor of Main Street — yeah, I get it. But it’s time to move on.’’ "I thought about calling the police but was afraid and decided not to do so ." "It's like saying let's build a house in the middle of Yellowstone Park. There are some things that are more important. The Hollywood sign represents the dreams of millions. It's a symbol. It is as the Eiffel Tower is to Paris. It represents the movies." "We are finally starting to realize that our everyday behaviors and emotions are mod...

Why do I say this? Because while people are threatening the lives of Congressmen/women and plotting to kill cops in order to start Armageddon, you find things like this : The Quinnipiac University poll found that 60 percent of Americans among both major political parties think raising income taxes on households making more than $250,000 should be a main tenet of the government's efforts to tame the deficit. More than 70 percent, including a majority of Republicans, say those making more than $1 million should pay more. But 80 percent say raising taxes on those making less than that should not be part of the government's approach. Moreover, most oppose touching Medicare and Social Security - two long-term drivers of the budget deficit over the coming decades. "Given those numbers, it's clear that those who want serious deficit reduction have their work cut out for them in convincing the public, which seems adamantly opposed to cutting the programs with the l...

"I've got a wonderful woman. She's lovely and she's a fantastic mother." -- 19-yr-old "Kick-Ass" star Aaron Johnson , on his 43-year-old girlfriend. Not that I agree/disagree with the relationship (hey, he's over 18 and I'm certain that there are guys in their 40's going after 19-year old girls) but it's his choice of words given the age difference that make me cringe.

Good point.

The actions taken by the Tea Party have been done before . Take the Know-Nothings for example: Staunchly Protestant and nativist, they proposed limits on immigration (especially from largely Roman Catholic countries such as Ireland and Italy) and long waiting periods for naturalization. But many of the party’s planks were garden-variety social conservatism—like support for temperance laws and prayer in schools. Many Know-Nothings were members of the dying Whig Party, including Millard Fillmore, the former Whig president who tried to reclaim the White House (and came in last) as a Know-Nothing candidate in 1856. (Fillmore, a veritable virtuoso of the fringe-party form, had first been elected as a New York state legislator on the Anti-Masonic Party ticket). Dixicrats, McCarthyists, the American Independent Party, the Moral Majority...all predecessors of what the Tea Party is now.

Drool .

Apparently nothing . Ever since they went to the Best of Seven Setup (aka, the "Get More Money Plan") I believed that this was the end of upsets. And while the Eastern Conference is proving me right, the Western Conference is another story. Of course, it would be an excuse to drag out the "Western Conference is tougher" argument. But if that were the case, wouldn't the implied parity of the Eastern Conference indicate that they would be the ones struggling to win this best of 7? Dallas was supposed to be re-tooled; Denver was supposed to have a chip on their shoulder. If both of these two get bumped, the Lakers (who are not losing to the Thunder) will squash Utah while the Spurs will have to chase the Suns or the Trailblazers around for at least six games, making San Antonio easy pickings should they survive. As for the East...at least we have Orlando's mini-drama .

“To my mathematical brain, the numbers alone make thinking about aliens perfectly rational... If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America , which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.” “Everyone knows of Lindsey and my friendship and his serious efforts at solving the nation’s challenges. Any Republican who tries bipartisanship faces political peril. Their party’s activists are all about opposition at all costs. This is not about what comes first .” " There's room for debate between the two platforms ." "Wearing a pregnancy suit was so much fun. I loved the feeling of pretending to be pregnant and having little arms and legs and this big belly ." [EDITOR'S NOTE: I would be more than happy to assist you in your endeavor, Mrs. Silverstone-Jarecki. Just get that divorce.] Earth Day photos .

It appears that our latest attempt to care for those fighting to protect our country leaves something to be desired : Created in the wake of the scandal in 2007 over serious shortcomings at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Warrior Transition Units were intended to be sheltering way stations where injured soldiers could recuperate and return to duty or gently process out of the Army. There are currently about 7,200 soldiers at 32 transition units across the Army, with about 465 soldiers at Fort Carson ’s unit. But interviews with more than a dozen soldiers and health care professionals from Fort Carson’s transition unit, along with reports from other posts, suggest that the units are far from being restful sanctuaries. For many soldiers, they have become warehouses of despair, where damaged men and women are kept out of sight, fed a diet of powerful prescription pills and treated harshly by noncommissioned officers. Because of their wounds, soldiers in Warrior Transition Units are ...

Get Money . Chris Webber needs to get his story straight . Remembering Guru (even though there are some doubts ). Nobody really likes doing it . Some nuggets from various dentists. Archie Comics finally move into the 90's . Stacey Dash . Lauryn Hill . Keep an eye on these yahoos . Numbers can be dangerous if you don't use them properly .

Well, someone has made a online converter (as inspired by Ms. Lowden ).

(Hey; it's never too late or early for one) This tea party movement is one part Dick Armey and company fake astroturf protest, one part angry McCain and Palin soreloserman, one part abortion clinic protester, one part white nationalist militia movement/gun rights nuts, one part ClusterFox/Glenn Beck brain dead watcher, one part anti-immigration Lou Dobbs/Tom Tancredo fan, one part southern racist that isn't done fighting the Civil War yet and one part Ron Paul/Libertarian. -- C&L's Heather , in a post asking why the Tea Party isn't as involved in financial reform as they were in health reform.

As if these children didn't have enough grief ? WASHINGTON — US parents looking to adopt a child prefer girls over boys, and non-black children over African-Americans, according to a new study carried out by a group of economists. The team from the California Institute of Technology, the London School of Economics and New York University studied five years worth of data from 2004-2009 culled from a website run by an adoption intermediary. They were able to see which babies attracted most applications from adoptive parents, and how much the parents would need to pay to finalize the adoption. They found that a non-African-American baby was seven times more likely to "attract the interest and attention of potential adoptive parents than an African-American baby," said Leonardo Felli, an economics professor at LSE. But there was not a similar preference in favor of Caucasian babies over Hispanic babies, even though all the adoptive parents in the sample were Cauc...

As only Chris Sims can reveal .

This morning on "The Today Show" the news desk substitute reported on two stories regarding...inappropriate sexual behavior: a child-molesting former Catholic priest who resigned in his current job as a bishop, and the story of SEC employees looking at porn while the economy was going in the crapper. The priest story got about ten seconds, no footage/b-roll and was reported by the lady like she was rattling off baseball scores. The SEC story got more than twice the time, footage of someone looking at what was supposed to be porn, a listing of the porn sites, and a head-shaking look of disdain from the reporter like she just realized her nephew went into rehab again . So to recap: child-fucking priest = dog bites man; SEC employees watching porn = yet another example of evil lazy government not doing its job.

" Mama Pimp ." "If it gets landward, it could be a disaster in the making." “I’m here because I believe that these reforms are, in the end, not only in the best interest of our country, but in the best interest of the financial sector .” “People, we hope, would be honest and truthful when registering to attend these schools. Unfortunately, in some cases they are not . We work really hard to make sure students who attend these schools are Boston residents.’’ "I’VE BEEN ASKED TO COMMENT ON A LETTER SPEAKING ILL OF ME WHICH WAS SUPPOSEDLY WRITTEN BY GURU IN HIS DYING DAYS. ALL I WILL SAY ABOUT IT IS THAT OUR TIME TOGETHER WAS BEAUTIFUL, WE BUILT A HIP HOP LEGACY TOGETHER, AND NO ONE CAN RE-WRITE HISTORY OR TAKE AWAY MY LOVE FOR HIM . ONE THING I WOULD NEVER DO IS PLAY AROUND WITH THE TRUTH ABOUT HIS LIFE." "I've been watching him my whole life. It still doesn't feel real right now. I guess in training camp , I'll snap out...

One GOP Senatorial candidate wants to use chickens to barter for health care ; a Tennesse GOP Representative say we should use vegetable instead . Am I the only one who thinks this anti-money stance is rather... socialist ? Not to mention stupid (let these guys try paying for a parking ticket with a chicken sandwich and see what happens).

Like a fish out of water . PHOENIX – Republican Sen. John McCain , who once championed a path to citizenship for the nation's roughly 12 million undocumented immigrants , is now pushing for a crackdown on illegals amid the toughest re-election fight of his career. McCain's hardline stance on immigration comes in the face of a credible GOP primary challenger, former Rep. J.D. Hayworth , and the possibility that the party's 2008 presidential nominee could lose his Senate seat because many conservatives don't consider him one of their own. Engaged in a fierce contest with the tea party-backed Hayworth, McCain has moved to the right on numerous issues, including gay rights and climate change, and disavowed his long-standing maverick label. The killing of an Arizona rancher last month stoked conservatives' emphasis on fighting illegal immigration. The state Legislature on Monday sent Republican Gov. Jan ...

"This is smacking me right in the face that it's the wrong way around, especially considering where the zipper stops. We ask for celebs to be more inventive on the red carpet, but this isn't what I had in mind ." “ There’s very little available for these kids . A lot of things have basically failed so far.’’ "We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show." "People have been so focused on fat that we haven't been focused on sugar, and it's gotten away from us . This data show we can't let either one or the other get too high." " We are doing the kind of blitz that you saw at the end of health care on regulation reform." " I ask the forgiveness of all those to whom I may have been unfair and to those who I may have caused heartache ." “I’m not against scientific research. I just want it to be done right. They used our b...

Glenn Beck is an idiot . That is all. The recently departed GURU has a response from the afterlife:

Sigh . Penguin Group Australia had to reprint 7,000 copies of Pasta Bible last week, the Sydney Morning Herald has reported. The reprint cost A$20,000 ($18,000; £12,000), but stock in bookshops will not be recalled as it is "extremely hard" to do so, Penguin said. The recipe was for tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto. "We're mortified that this has become an issue of any kind, and why anyone would be offended, we don't know," head of publishing Bob Sessions is quoted as saying by the Sydney newspaper. Penguin said almost every one of the more than 150 recipes in the book listed salt and freshly ground black pepper, but a misprint occurred on just one page.

Sure, some things have gotten sloppy to the point of frustrating . Still one of LOST's best moments is when the previously separated group reunites . Unfortunately, the show's best moments have also been events that break them apart. While X-Desmond works his magic to bring the various ex-passengers together, on the Island the gang gets together just in time to split up. For the most part, things we've learned or known are finally revealed to our characters, and in true fashion, their reaction is either cut for another scene (Jack and Claire on the Island) or interrupted (Jack and Claire in the X-World). DISCOVERIES Smokey confirms that he was posing as Jack's dad, and reveals that he can only take the shape of the dead (and maybe just the dead people who are on the Island). Widmore brought some heavy artillery to deal with Smokey. We learn Ilana's last name (via the X-World). Smokey promised to reunite Sayid with Nadia is he submits. OBSERVATIONS Jack jumping out ...

"I'm convinced now there is a new element of seriousness attached to this , rather than just trying to score political points. . . . I think that's a good sign." “ Did I know he was going to have a big 23-point game with eight rebounds ? Not at all. But I knew he was capable of filling in the role nicely and doing what the coaches asked him to do. With him out there, chemistry is fine. We felt like this was a game we were supposed to win with or without Kevin. So he did a great job with filling in.’’ “ A criminal prohibition of alarming breadth .” “Some people think it’s safe to give dogs large bones, like those from a ham or a roast. Bones are unsafe no matter what their size . Giving your dog a bone may make your pet a candidate for a trip to your veterinarian’s office later, possible emergency surgery, or even death.” "In conclusion, higher consumption of added sugars is associated with several important measures of dyslipidemia, an important risk f...

Not one of his best, but everyone else will be playing D.W.Y.I.C.K. or Full Clip anyway. Besides, I love the basketball analogy.

They may just become a large enough voting block to overrule you. Dealing With The Guy Who's Clearly Hiding a Zombie Bite -- powered by Cracked.com

The beginning of The Transition . R.I.P., Keith Elam (aka Guru from Gangstarr). Might as well face it, you're addicted to tans . Lobbyists, UNITE ! Rahm's already planning for his next job. R.I.P., Dorothy Height .

I just don't know what to feel about this . This is the guy who put her grandfather out of work. She's the daughter of the man who pretty much undid all the good his predecessor accomplished. And now, I'll have to hear more stories about how she trying to rehabilitate her "drunk party girl" image. Now I'll have to hear some about some pundit joking that Clinton probably flirted with her off-camera. And don't get me started on this "The Families Really Like Each Other" thing. Not that I don't believe it or think they should be mortal enemies, but has either family they ever considered what their political performances have done to the mindset of the average American voter? Their respective and collective "us vs. them" rhetoric is partially responsible for the one set of dreamers who think the government should be doing everything and other set pf crazies who think government is Satan. Yet here these two are, talking about family in-j...

If comics were written like this , I may have to start buying them again.

That's so true. I'm glad to see John Amato touch on this , because like it of not even sports guys have political leanings and occasionally those leanings get merged into their sports commentary. Scandals happen in sports, but I'd rather hear about how they will effect the player's or team's performance, not some soapbox-inspired rationale of why the player may or may not have done what they're accused off. When these guys get into that type of opinionated commentary, they tend to be no better than their political counterparts.

Can't argue the numbers . I want this room . The Green Lantern's costume will be CGI . OK; so the 90's weren't all bad . Bettie Page and the FBI . These people are going to get killed . Everybody here is equally kind ... More proof to support my theory that Zoe Saldana is a younger, slightly hotter Jada Pinkett Smith. Awwwww ....

"Although these women's brain activity doesn't look like full-blown eating disorders, they are much closer to it than men are ." " David Ortiz is fully aware of Plaintiff's Manhattan 40/40 club, since he had been a patron there on several occasions before he opened his Infringing Forty/Forty club .'' “It’s a huge deal. Nearly every hospital in the country will now be required to provide hospital visitation rights to LGBT families. It’s an enormous step. In the absence of equal marriage rights in most jurisdictions, this step provides an essential right to LGBT families for a gay person or a lesbian person to spend time with their partner in a critical situation .” "We'll start by sending astronauts to an asteroid for the first time in history. By the mid-2030s, I believe we can send humans to orbit Mars and return them safely to Earth . And a landing on Mars will follow. And I expect to be around to see it." “ We’re deepl...

Some interesting nuggets were dropped.

This from the guy who by will alone forced a dress code on players who were out/injured. I can understand why he's taking this tone: if he pushes too hard and a star player gets hurt playing in a meaningless game, he'll get the blame. On the flip side, fans don't want to invest in teams that only player hard between December and March.

One thing about the Republican Party: they adhere fiercely to their talking points. Visit msnbc.com for breaking news , world news , and news about the economy

And it's not exactly flattering .

Hum-dee-dum-dum...hey, lookie here: Tea Party Activists Unveil 'Contract From America' Tea Party activists are once again descending on Washington, D.C., and this time they have a 10-point "Contract From America" that they want the next Congress to follow. "We want them to listen to us," Ryan Hecker, the conservative activist who spearheaded the contract, told ABC News. "We want to restructure our relationship with elected officials. This is a bottom-up, grassroots, transparent effort to call for real economic conservative reform." Personally, I'm glad to hear this. Everything I've been reading so far suggests that the Tea Party is little more than pissed-off, well-to-do, bigoted conservatives who want to go full throttle against Barack Obama while the GOP gets it's act together, rather than a once-in-a-lifetime gathering of average Americans who are concerned with the direction their country is going. Reaffirming their authent...

The former NAACP leader was 85 .

Interesting . Researchers from the NCHS, who published their findings on Wednesday, found that adult Americans who were clinically depressed were more likely to be smokers than those who were not, regardless of gender or age. The study, entitled "Depression and Smoking in the U.S. Household Population Aged 20 and Over, 2005-2008," also found that a higher percentage of severely depressed adults were smokers than mildly depressed adults, demonstrating that as the severity of the condition increases, so too did the propensity to smoke. Furthermore, people over the age of 20 who were depressed were more likely to be heavy smokers and less likely to quit than those who had not been diagnosed with the disorder, the study says. Back in the day when I was around more smokers (most of them have either quit or died by now) the prevailing reason for smoking was to "calm my nerves." I wouldn't classify depressed people as jittery types. Suicidal people? Maybe. But...

The not-to-subtle racism that exists in the fashion industry. Public Enemy #1 . The sky is falling ...kinda. Hopefully eight is enough . Talk about a serious mix-up . Kentucky moves up as an NCAA basketball contender.

Well, here's someone who seems better off from the Blackest Night storyline.

About the McVeigh Tapes, politics, and revising the Ten Commandments. The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c Rachel Maddow www.thedailyshow.com Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Future Batman villain decides to freeze sick animals instead of paying for medical care .

Wow. Definitely an episode to remember . We learn some things , see some old familiar faces and still manage to keep chugging along to the series finale. The Anti-Smoke Squad is split over how to stop Flake-Locke from leaving the Island, X-Desmond is starting to bring people together (through LOVE!) and Hurley (who's got cash in both realities) is caught in the middle in both storylines. DISCOVERIES As Hugo noted, the whispers are coming from dead people the Island won't/can't let go. While hinted at from Charlie, Hugo's date with Libby proves that Desmond isn't the only character who has glimpsed the "regular world" on the Island. Desmond knew (more or less) what Widmore was doing to him. In the X-world, Libby is at Santa Clara voluntarily. Fake Locke, despite turning into black smoke on occasion, still needs to drink. Pierre Chang hasn't aged in the X-world, and has changed career paths. OBSERVATIONS Ilana's death shows that Hurley was right to b...

"I heard dogs barking and the huge rumbling sound of houses collapsing ." "I certainly don't think anybody going to cable today is shocking. Whether it's comedy or drama, cable has been leading the way over the last five years ." “I think this is one of those instances when science and advocacy can conflict.” “ There are ways to discipline children effectively that do not involve hitting them.” " It's energized the hardcore base of Republicans who tend to share a lot of Tea Party ideas , but on the other hand, it's going to bring to the floor a split that has been in the Republican Party for quite a long time." “The way to solve this problem is to let the people who make the mistakes pay for them. We won’t solve this problem until the biggest banks are allowed to fail .’’

Alexa Ray Joel follows in both of her parent's footsteps .

...A decision that may leave him half past dead with exit wounds .

Why else would they make a sandwich that replaces bread with chicken filets ? At least they give you nutritional information.

Another classic from The Daily Show's Wyatt Cenac. The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c Open Carrier Discrimination www.thedailyshow.com Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

I know, I know: You're crazy, dude . I just think that sometimes the guys behind "The Batman" got a little too into the fight scenes sometimes. And yes, Batman punches Harley in the chest.

“Our relationship is not any good. When I told him to park his motorcycle, he got pissed. Alright. Then he had the accident. And since then, he doesn’t like me and I’m learning not to like him. And he wants to break all my records and I say, ‘OK break them I really don’t care.’ I’ve done my job, now my job is over. Now you have your shot, but he has got to, in my opinion, he has got to realize who he is. He is an elite athlete in the National Football League. He’s got an image problem right now and the best thing to do is don’t ever put yourself in that position again . When you’re through playing football do whatever you want to do, but right now stay clean.” "It will also be someone who, like Justice Stevens , knows that in a democracy, powerful interests must not be allowed to drown out the voices of ordinary citizens." “ Until two weeks ago, the Chinese would not discuss a sanctions resolution at all .” "Epidemiological evidence linking diet, one of the m...

Well, this . Heck we need more of this: Peanuts characters as Marvel characters. And the reverse: I can totally see Archangel or Falcon as Woodstock.

The conservatives in America have could teach a class on how to use factions for political gain. Whether you're talking about baiting bigots and racists, schmoozing with God-fearing Christians or pandering to Friedman-ordained Wall Street types, the American Conservative has been able to pull off spectacular, if temporary, alliances. The Tea Party phenomenon is just the latest in a long line of attempts to re-brand and re-tool the conservative element within the GOP. But while this has been going on, there's been another interesting development: the potential fracturing between conservatives and libertarians, as evidenced by Ron Paul's one vote loss to Mitt Romney in the last Conservative Something Something Convention . But more to the point, there's been recent comments by noted "voices" of conservatives dismissing the previous Conservative Something Something Convention as being too libertarian . It seems strange that this is the stance being taken. The GO...

The "Designing Women" star was 70 .

For some unknown reason, they seem to be getting a tad violent .

As explained by The Onion .

“A year ago, loan servicers fought stronger measures that would have lifted the current ban against home loan modifications through our court system, insisting they could handle the foreclosure problem on their own. Today, policymakers and communities hit hard by foreclosures are rightly criticizing servicers for tepid results ." “ I hate to break this to you , but we have a tendency for mechanical failure in accelerator pedals of a certain manufacturer on certain models.’’ "The design was ' frat house bordello .' There must have been 300 comic book covers elaborately framed and hanging on the walls." " All menus will exceed the gold standard for the HealthierUS Challenge . We offer vegetables every day, but we are going to offer a different vegetable every day next year. We are going to focus on the dark green and orange vegetables and limit the amount of starchy vegetables." “ We’re focusing on protecting existing nuclear material , becau...

(Image via ) Well; excuse me ! Impact of the Credit Card Act . Sleep Myths . The last thing you'd want to do in the back of a cop car is ... I'm loving it...the potential nurses I'll meet in the hospital after eating this stuff, that is . Some mascots have to go . It wasn't a fight , just them getting it on . Barbie finds religion . DC Comics' "Blackest Night" abridged . Video games have taught us so much . This probably won't make COPS.

Considering he's been going back and forth between the same two women for the past few decades, I guess this is news .

You don't start a land war in China. You don't tug on Superman's cape. You don't tweet about Ice-T's acting skills .

But most of you knew that already. Anyway, here are some depressing charts and graphs . Props to one of the posters over at DU . P.S. a one DUer pointed out, this isn't the freshest data. Still, I'd be stupid to think any of this has turned around drastically, considering how Republicans have decided to obstruct just about everything President Obama's been doing; not to mention that most elected officials are closer to the Top 1% then the Bottom 50% (both financially and politically).

Interest in things like, "You can get photos of those KIA" start to wane . There's two ways to look at this though. First, that Bush may actually have been right in his ban for no other reason than the "if we weren't talking about it, no one would care" rationale. Another way (as hinted by the title) is that after Bush left and Obama got in, the desire to use war as part of some weird 24-hour political infomercial disappeared. Think about how much Iraq and Afghanistan news came out during the Health Care Debate: yes in both cases there were deaths; but prior to the last year plus the former was the story that was being used to define where we were as a country. It's saying a lot that the "we have to fight them over there so we don't fight them here" has been replaced with "get the government out of my medicare."

According to ACORN-hater Andrew Breitbart, it's the Congressional Black Congress' fault . I'm sure he'd blame all those black people who marched in the 1960's and were beaten and hosed as well; after all, they shouldn't have been trying to get freedoms and voting rights and such.

"She's ridiculous with electronics. Jessica is the only one who can figure out all of our cameras, all of our computers, the Blu-ray Disc player." -- One of many things people probably didn't know about Jessica Simpson.

“It’s just unfair. I would be quite upset if a student who could pay two times as much jumped to the head of the line to take Bristol Community College classes. Public education, in my mind, means you’re keeping your costs as low as you possibly can . We serve everyone, and in particular, the have-nots.’’ " His biggest thing is, how is he going to deal with success ? Part of the success he's having this season is because of how hard he worked last season. Now he's reaping the benefits of that. But do you use what you've done as a springboard for more success? Or do you become satisfied? I don't think he'll become satisfied, because I don't think we'll let him. We're going to make sure he keeps on working. Having spent some time with him in the summer, I discovered, when things are going pretty good, he can relax a little bit. You've got to keep a thumb on him all the time." "I don't think there are any words to describe...

As Thinkprogress pretty much confirms . I guess reporters like it when they can feel intellectually superior to the people they cover, even if some of those people insult them and/or their profession on a regular basis.