Welcome to The Now

First, there's the Daily Show preemptive strike, courtesy of Leonard Nimoy: Then there's Michael Moore : The people of the future will know nothing about Dirty Harry or Josey Wales or Million Dollar Baby . They will know about the night a crazy old man hijacked a national party's most important gathering so he could literally tell the president to go do something to himself (i.e. fuck  himself). In those few moments (and these days, it only takes a few moments—see Anthony Weiner), he completely upended and redefined how he'll be remembered by younger and future generations.  Yep, pretty much.

Via .

A Democratic Assemblyman from Brooklyn is caught up in a sexual harassment scandal . Says a Mitt Romney Pollster: " We're notgoing to let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers ." Seagulls are attacking whales .

"Jersey Shore" is being cancelled .

...and it's basically because Bobby Brown has decided to forgo rehab .

I am not convinced that the following applies to the modern-day card-carrying Republican voter, but I'm pretty sure they are not completely aware of what's going on either. They're party voters; their role is to vote for their party. It's the RNC's job to basically give them a rationale for continuing to vote for the GOP. The RNC's plan for this election cycle (and presumably beyond) is to lie, cheat and steal. They plan to lie about economic and domestic issues , h ow this country came to be and role government played in that development , and the level of racial and misogynistic tactics they are using . They plan on cheating by changing the rules so people who don't normally vote for them won't be able to vote at all.These schemes, if properly executed, will allow the GOP to steal the 2012 election, and by "steal" I mean, "They are afraid that they will lose if they don't lie and cheat, so they have resorted to lying and chea

  Imagine you have a friend who a few years back heard that if you feed poodles money they will shit out gold bricks. So your friend starts feeding his hard-earned cash to all the pampered poodles he can find, and they gobble those bills down. But, surprise, surprise, despite what he heard, the dogs end up shitting shit. Still, he clings to this bizarre, completely disproven idea: poodles shit gold. Now, after some time, he's low on cash. You tell your friend to stop putting out plates of money for the goddamned poodles. No, your friend says. Instead, he must cut back on other things, like doctor visits and food and more, just so he'll have the spare money to give the fucking dogs. "One day, these little bitches are gonna pay off," he tells you, sounding completely crazy, "and I'll be on easy street." But until then, he's just got hands that stink like dog shit. And there's your lesson in Republican economics. ... And here endet

These guys didn't actually think the electoral readjustment process was limited to minorities, old people and unions, did they?

Just because you claim your kids are "dumb as hell" it does not excuse you from essentially teaching them that the solution is to cheat . Now, the person in question says the accusations are not true, so time well tell.

Interesting ... A group of coal miners in Ohio feel they would have been fired if they did not attend an Aug. 14 event with presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney and contribute to his campaign — and to make matters worse, they lost of day of pay for their trouble. In phone calls and emails to WWVA radio host David Blomquist , employees at the Century Mine in Ohio said they feared retaliation if they did not attend the Romney event. “Yes, we were in fact told that the Romney event was mandatory and would be without pay, that the hours spent there would need to be made up my non-salaried employees outside of regular working hours, with the only other option being to take a pay cut for the equivalent time,” the employees told Blomquist. “Yes, letters have gone around with lists of names of employees who have not attended or donated to political events.” Update : Think Progress also discusses this story .

Via this DU post . In other words: President Obama is not spending us into oblivion. Sure, he's authorizing Skynet-like fighter drones to bomb people in foreign countries , but he's not spending us into oblivion.

Squirrel Girl sets Speedball (aka Penance) straight (sorta). " For the first time in my life, I will be voting against a Republican candidate for president ." Need to convert images ? How to eat less (yet be full) . BEER !  Fear the Gremlin .  From the "Stupid Idea" Files ...  How couples stay happy .

Take me out of the ball game . I think this event is in Revelations . People seem to still trust President Obama to handle Medicare .

Everything is bigger in Texas . A risk for older fathers . Personally, I can't blame Mark Cuban . Keeping an eye on Syria . Yet another way kids can end up fat.

Rep. Steve King has insinuated that the scenario of a girl getting pregnant from rape was foreign to him. He's now trying to backtrack ...essentially because he's been caught using the "girl got pregnant from rape" scenario to justify another issue (dog fighting).

We are entering a new phase of meme self-awareness here . Nelly on the state of Hip-Hop . Seeing that he's essentially the religious equivalent of a rabbi or cardinal running and he's running for president, Mitt Romney better start talking about his religion before others do.  A job's a job, right ? Chronicling the USA Men's quest for Olympic gold .  Jackie Chan is nuts , but he's given us years of entertaining movies.  Just how did Paul Ryan get rich ?  To quote Chris Rock: " If y'all are losing , then who's winning?"  " I never felt I had to choose sides, but once these cats who I liked went against who I loved when I loved God, I had to pick a side ."

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news , world news , and news about the economy Don't let him tell you any different.

I can think of a lot of things wrong with this headline . George Zimmerman is broke after trying to convince the public that he had a good reason to shoot an unarmed teen to death. Rachel Weisz can now go to Arizona .  White House Honey Ale .

Sure it was, Deadpool; sure it was.

Go here and find out.The cool thing is that you don't have to give the standard "yes or no" if you don't want to.

The Romney/Ryan ticket needs some cover, and Rep. Darrell Issa is providing it by going after Eric Holder (again).

I could say that Mitt Romney's decision to pick Paul Ryan won't take care of the GOP presidential nominee's most glaring problem . I could point to the many, many things that about Paul Ryan that would turn off moderate and independent voters, most notably his admiration for Ayn Rand ( who had questionable judgement of "heroes" herself ).  Of course, there's always the budget Ryan is pushing, which is - as some on the left have noted - does not seem to produce the advertised result...unless the result is " no more Medicare ." I could give my version on all that, but as you can see, sharper minds than me have done so. So why re-invent those wheels when I can touch on other aspects, like: Romney Didn't Use The VP Pick For Traditional Reasons : Usually, the VP pick is supposed to cover some deficiency (real or imagined) that the presidential candidate has. In Romney's sense, it practically screamed for someone with a personality that could

Nasty politics does not always equal lies . Louisiana has an interesting solution to their "high school teens getting pregnant" problem: kick them out of school . Not every small business owner is against President Obama .  A daughter should be able to build a shrine to her dad, especially this dad . The President can be funny at times ... ...And so can Chris Rock .  Should comic book superheros look "Olympic?"

College Football coach shocked to find attractive coeds on his campus . Great Britain has the same types of issues with race as America does. Looks like the trade will happen . Not surprising .

Seriously: in terms of NBA experience, what can his Olympic teammates teach him ? Just because James and Wade won a championship, it doesn't make them instant experts.

It might not happen , but the fact they're trying? Good on 'em.

Whatever ; we've heard that before.

I don't care what anyone says:the guy deserved an award for "Who Framed Roger Rabbit . It's a real shame it's taken Hollywood so long to get over itself and give awards to "geek movies."

R.I.P., Martin Fleischmann . Keeping an eye on China . The NFL will be getting their first female referee . Crazy gunman doesn't act so crazy in front of judge .

Let me be the first to say that there's a strong chance that Arrested Development's revival may not last because: Most of the cast are movie stars, and shooting around the show will become problamatic; The writers are just as important as the cast, and if that dynamic changes people will find out real soon. It's only ten episodes. It's only going to be on the Internet. In reality, it's more like a feel-good epilogue than anything else. But for fans, that might be enough. 

Let's break it down even more ... It forces detractors to reconcile why Obama needed to provide his birth certificate while Romney's word should be considered "sufficient" enough for voters. This is coming from Harry Reid, who can't be blamed for being discriminatory (he's Mormon like Romney) or making a power move (other than having a Democrat keep the White House, which is the whole point of the election. Obama doesn't have to jump into the fray; he can just give opinions and observations. The more Romney resists, the more pressure he'll get from Republicans and the media to release more tax information (much like Obama did, although the pressure did not come from his own party). It can't be stressed how this is attacking Romney's biggest claim to fame: his business acumen. By clouding Romney's image as a legitimate, successful businessman... Romney will be focused to either highlight other aspects of his candidacy, like his tim

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Amanda Bynes needs a driver . The power of math ! (from pic) Who gains from Romney's tax plan . Apparently guys have a harder time "just being friends" then girls.

The actor/director seems to be under the impression that Obama's been waging a class war via taxes . That says a lot about where Eastwood gets his information (hint: it probably rhymes with "Croc's Blues").

( h/t )

"When you're rich, you want a Republican in office."    -- former adult film star Jenna Jameson , endorsing GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney .

As Rachel's blog explains, the Tea Party-backed purge has claimed another victim , and this time in Texas. I think it's a sign of the times when Rick Perry's Lt. Governor loses because he's apparently not conservative enough for Texas Republicans. But in a macro sense, it presents a problem the GOP has had sense the Frankenstonian Monster (this hybrid of the supposedly fiscally-conscientious, the can't-let-go birthers and the compromise-haters) known as the Tea Party formed: Republicans need them for votes, but not as electoral candidates. Other than Rand Paul (who had the added benefit of being Ron Paul's son) hardly any Tea Party candidate of note has won (GOP members who "converted" to save their asses don't count) and those who did seemed to mysteriously become cogs of the very machine they were sent to dismantle. Nevertheless, their presence during campaigns make it difficult for the establishment GOP in terms of attracting independent vote

...the rich (who is helping to finance his campaign) and those who hate everything Obama/Democratic Party (who he needs for votes). If people understand this, his constant screwups and his attempts to cover his screwups with lies is easier to digest.

A much-deserved R.I.P. to Gore Vidal . That's our Romney ! (Facebook) resistance is futile . Good news for Obama , but keep in mind things can change in 90 days. Progress against terrorism .

Sweet Baby Jesus . A 26-year-old woman was shot by an arrow on the 10000 block of Moxley Road in Damascus. An adult male was practicing archery and the arrow ricocheted, striking the woman in the head.