A Day In The Life Of...Optimus Prime

8:00am: Go over Decepticon-killing strategy with Prowl and Ultra Magnus.

9:15am: Humor human Spike with baseball game using ridiculously-sized equipment; marvel at how a human can hit a pitch from a living robot without shattering every bone in their body.

10:47am: Get alert message from human scientist, who just now announces that they were making a device to harness energy more efficiently, and instead of asking the Autobots for guidance/security 10 months ago, decide to wait until his lab gets attacked by Deceptions.

10:56am: Round up Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, Huffer, Ratchet, Gears, Jazz, and Silverstreak for a mission to save the humans and their heretofore unknown revolutionary energy device.

10:58am: On second thought, screw that noise; take the Dinobots, the Monsterbots, Omega Supreme, Sideswipe, Warpath, Springer, Sky Lynx, and let's fuck this chicken. Oh, and bring some tough, experienced witnesses. Have Bumblebee and Spike go on "a mission" to get the team better motor oil.

11:36am: Arrive at the scene, which was conveniently close and accessible by both sky and ground. Make a quick mention about not harming humans since one of the Dinobots made a claim to "Destroy anything that moves."

11:37am: Watch Starscream and Seekers attack from sky; hesitate a second while Sideswipe, Warpath and Omega Supreme start shooting, then give the order from them to hold their fire.

11:37:25am: Wait for Seekers to transform into robot mode, ask them why they are here, tell them to give up and made some side comment about Megatron not being around to do his own dirty work.

11:37:31am: Upon receiving expected retort from Starscream, pull out Giant Gun Of Awesome and blow off his head. Ask if any other Decepticons would like to argue.

11:37:34am: Open fire on remaining Decepticons, including the ones retreating and offering to surrender.

11:41am: Have Decepticon remains loaded into Sky Lynx to send to Megatron as "a gift." Remind Sideswipe to include a bomb with a timer in the "gift." Order other Autobots to help clean up the mess and go schmooze with the human scientist.

12:03am: Listening to human scientist go on and on about how "in the wrong hands" his device could be used "to destroy the earth" completely oblivious to the fact that he's talking to an advanced 30-foot living robot with guns who commands an entire army of living robots also with guns. Gently remind human that the damage to his lab/base/whatever would not have happened had he told the Autobots about his project earlier.

1:07pm: Tell Autobots it's time to "transform and roll out!" ignoring Sky Lynx's observation that most of them are not cars and trucks, much less vehicles.

1:25pm: Receive a message from Bumblebee that on his way to the freaking Auto Zone he and Spike were attacked (naturally) by the Stunticons. Make a detour to AZ with Sideswipe and Springer and tell Sky Lynx to go with the rest back to base and assemble another team.

12:25:23pm: Explain to Warpath that he's too fucking slow to get to the Auto Zone. Explain to other Autobots that like #21 and #23, Bumblebee is both extremely expendable from a war perspective yet has an uncanny ability to survive capture and battles.

12:40pm: Watch "The Sound Of Music" in private quarters.

3:25pm: Get word from Cosmos that not only has Bumblebee and Spike eluded the Stunticons with negligible injuries (of course), they've also found a plot by Megatron to create a dangerous new energy source using oil and diamonds.

3:31pm: Have Perceptor explain how that could even be remotely possible.

5:17pm: Stop Perceptor from talking, ask him to explain so that an Earthling could understand.

5:34pm: Have Hound, Cliffjumper and Powerglide do recon. Humor human Spike with hockey game using ridiculously-sized equipment; marvel at how a human can save a goal with a puck stuck by a living robot without it being embedded in his lung.