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  1. No-fly zone, indeed.

  2. Big Brother will soon be able to send you text messages...for your own safety, of course.

  3. Thanks to modern science, now monkeys and rats can join cockroaches as creatures who can survive radiation.

  4. Now China hosting the Olympics may constitute a "crisis?" Where has this guy been?

  5. Sen. John McCain allegedly has a mortgage plan.

  6. Dirk Nowitzki may not be the second coming of Larry Bird, but for the most part he's clutch enough.

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