Why Jesus Couldn't Be President

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Deepak Chopra explains:

As it turns out, Jesus's other planks caused even more problems on the bumpy road to the nomination. The second one was "Money is at the root of all evil." This forced his campaign to refuse contributions from lobbyists and special interest groups. For a long time Jesus hadn't been returning phone calls from K Street -- something to do with his third plank, "Resist not evil." On the other hand, this plank earned him unexpected popularity because of its enormous tax benefits. A country that doesn't resist evil would not wage war and therefore had no need for the Pentagon or the military-industrial complex. Jesus pointed out that the cost of a few Stealth bombers could finance all the symphony orchestras and day care centers in the country. Contented babies would have time for Mozart. Democrats liked the proposition better than Republicans, which cynics attributed to the higher birth rate among Democrats. (Behind his back the Republican smear machine started the rumor that Jesus was against sex and would abolish births altogether.)

Check the whole thing out here.

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