Today in Politcal Sports News
Rush Limbaugh to sign multi-million contract extension for the Republican Party Conservatives. He will continue his bench role of "radio host." Although he's gained weight over the years, and there have been drug problems here and there, the Conservatives still feel that Limbaugh is a valued asset in the locker room, especially with the team preparing for what many are calling a "rebuilding year."
"We hope that Rush' veteran experience will help young conservatives who foolishly think that by being honest and factual is actually something that works," said Random Republican. "Hopefully he'll set them straight before 2012."
He very well might. As the GOP was facing scandal after scandal, voters began turning away from the Republican Party in disgust. Limbaugh saw this potentially horrible situation and came up with a brilliant plan: explain away the mass desertion as voters infiltrating the Democratic Primary.
"I saw that people who genuinely believed that George Bush was a 'uniter' had begun to loose faith," Limbaugh said in a rare interview. "I decided to use that, and the fact that I was really against John McCain at one point to make it look like voters were getting involved in the Democratic Primary for malevolent reasons. The truth is -and everyone with a brain knows this by know- is that they were leaving way before my 'Operation Chaos.' In fact, when I was actually serious about meddling in the Democratic Primary, it actually screwed over some voters from Texas; apparently when you vote in the Democratic Primary they won't let you switch back to vote in the Republican Primary, and there were local elections going on there that could have really used some support. Oh well; at least I'm making some money."
The Republican Party Conservatives could not be reached for comment.
"We hope that Rush' veteran experience will help young conservatives who foolishly think that by being honest and factual is actually something that works," said Random Republican. "Hopefully he'll set them straight before 2012."
He very well might. As the GOP was facing scandal after scandal, voters began turning away from the Republican Party in disgust. Limbaugh saw this potentially horrible situation and came up with a brilliant plan: explain away the mass desertion as voters infiltrating the Democratic Primary.
"I saw that people who genuinely believed that George Bush was a 'uniter' had begun to loose faith," Limbaugh said in a rare interview. "I decided to use that, and the fact that I was really against John McCain at one point to make it look like voters were getting involved in the Democratic Primary for malevolent reasons. The truth is -and everyone with a brain knows this by know- is that they were leaving way before my 'Operation Chaos.' In fact, when I was actually serious about meddling in the Democratic Primary, it actually screwed over some voters from Texas; apparently when you vote in the Democratic Primary they won't let you switch back to vote in the Republican Primary, and there were local elections going on there that could have really used some support. Oh well; at least I'm making some money."
The Republican Party Conservatives could not be reached for comment.
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