G.I. Joe: A New (Quasi-)American Hero

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NOTE: possible spoliers below.

What do you get when you take a comic book/cartoon that was based off toys, the director behind The Mummy and Van Helsing, and a smidgen of James Bond? You get a well-paced, action-pacted, decent cast summer movie.

Fans of the 80's cartoon and the various comic books beware: this ain't exactly to script. some notable differences:
  1. Love Triangles. In the (Larry Hama) comic, Scarlett and Snake Eyes were a couple. In the cartoon, it was Scarlett and Duke. Here, Duke and Baroness were an item, and Ripcord has a thing for Scarlett.
  2. Family Tree. In the comic, Cobra Commander had a son name Billy and the Baroness had a brother who was (indirectly) killed by Snake Eyes. In the cartoon, Duke was related to Falcon (who isn't in the movie) and Destro was distantly related to Lady Jay (who isn't in the movie. Here: let's just say that the Cobra Senior Staff Meetings can also double as Family Reunions.
  3. Villian Origins: In the comic, Snake Eyes (him again?) was somewhat connected to a traumatic event that led to the creation of Cobra Commander, who BTW only wears a mask to conceal his true identity. In the cartoon, Cobra Commander was actually, er, more bio-organic. Here, he's a human with a real reason to have his face covered.

If you can get over those three hurdles, you'll like the movie. That being said, there are some noticeble nods:

  1. COBRAs aren't chummy: There's and exchange between Zartan and Storm Shadow that highlight this. And let's just say that Destro and Cobra Commander don't always see eye-to-eye either.
  2. International Flair: G.I. Joe started out All-American, but eventually allowed non-Americans in their ranks. There are tons of comic stories involving non-American allies. So in the spirit of togetherness, some of the Joe characters have undergone an amalgamation of sorts.
  3. Cover Girl, who was an ex-model in the comics, is being played by an ex-model.
  4. Destro does come from a long line of weapons makers...who were forced to wear a mask for their ancestor's betrayal.

As for the cast: Dennis Quaid is awesome as Hawk (although I still think Tom Berenger looks more like the guy). Channing Tatum makes a way better soldier character than Josh Duhamel (sorry; it's true). I think Rachel Nichols was channeling Bridget Moynahan's character in I, Robot, but it was a good thing. Marlon Wayans is decent comic relief and Ray Park proves once again that if you need a charcter who can kick but and not say much, he's you're guy. And everyone playing COBRAs (Eccleston, Gordon-Levitt, Miller, Byung-hun and Vosloo) give the villians some much-needed onscreen personalities.

In conclusion: It's way better than Transformers: ROTF (that hurts, coming from a Trans-fan) and easily Sommer's best movie (I can't stress how good the pacing is). And the plot is simple: bad guys have WMD, good guys try to spot them. Imagine that.

Also: sequel talk.

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