Welcome to The Now

14 surprising (and not so surprising) celebrity jerks . Good and bad fashion trends . If comic book writers were in their own comics . 15 Things you should know about breasts . This can't help Whitney Houston's comeback. I'll agree with #s 7, 8 and 10 . Just because you don't get degrees in these things doesn't mean you shouldn't have learned them . You won't believe how this guy made this . It's a shame that this isn't a real comic. Michelle Obama's makeover (sorta).

I'm proud yet concerned . With minutes to go until his exclusive negotiating window was to expire, Jordan struck a deal late Friday night to buy controlling interest of the Charlotte Bobcats , putting the six-time NBA champion in charge of the money-losing team in his home state. Owner Bob Johnson announced in a statement that he's agreed to sell the Bobcats to Jordan, who been a part-owner of since 2006. Jordan has been running the team's basketball operations. Proud because I know from MJ's days in DC he always wanted to own a team. Concerned because I know from MJ's days in DC he was essentially merciless in practice, and became increasingly impatient with the fact that the other players weren't as good as he was.

They're doing this for kicks, which makes it sad and funny at the same time.

Whoa . SANTIAGO, Chile - A massive magnitude-8.8 earthquake struck Chile early Saturday, killing at least 85 people, triggering a tsunami and damaging buildings more than 200 miles away. President Michelle Bachelet declared a "state of catastrophe". At least 23 aftershocks were reported, including one registering at 6.9 on the Richter scale.

Thanks for cruel reality check , Chive!

As in, women are involved at every stage . Cool.

Heh .

Sigh . Two questions: If the GOP is on the comeback, why do something like this? If certain prominent Republicans have been denouncing the 2010 Census, why do something like this?

I LOLed.

While some of the comments make me think some people here need some more book learnin', some valid points are made about what Hip-Hop (specifically) and the music industry (in general) considers to be "beautiful."

These are not only slightly informative, but now way more funny than the earlier ones. ABC.com - Lost - LOST Untangled Posted using ShareThis

R.I.P., Andrew Koeing . I'm not going to hate on the Canadian woman's hockey team for celebrating . They avenged their male counterparts. Now if what they were doing is illegal; that's another story. The HCR Summit gave both sides the time to get their whining and complaints out of their system , and now President Obama wants to see some maturity being applied to the issue . I can't hate on Seth Green either . Seriously . In fact, he gives funny guys everywhere hope. Looks like this latest snowfall is a little too much for New York . New Wizard Al Thorton has a new opportunity to shine . And people say Joe Biden doesn't do anything .

Apparently, parents have stopped caring .

Chuck E. Cheeses sure has changed since my day.

...and boy, I think things would have been different had the Democrats just called the bill: "The Ronald Reagan Health Care Plan."

Some pretty common-sense stuff , actually.

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I mean like serious "I don' like you" types? Who's from the same country ?

See, because even though it's bigger than a monster truck , it looks so cute ! What could happen ? ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — A SeaWorld killer whale seized a trainer in its jaws Wednesday and thrashed the woman around underwater , killing her in front of a horrified audience. It marked the third time the animal had been involved in a human death . Distraught audience members were hustled out of the stadium immediately, and the park was closed. That. That could happen.

Either Vonn was still giddy over her win, on something, or she's not really 25. Either way, it's a funny interview. The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c America's Olympic Wins - Lindsey Vonn www.colbertnation.com Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Skate Expectations

LOST brings us a traditional Jack-centric episode (where off-Island it's as boring as watching paint dry, and on-Island it's pretty well entertaining) but with the added bonus that the Island stuff wasn't exactly focused on Jack: our favorite doctor and reluctant leader was being guided by the ever-fun Hugo ! BTW: I wasn't the only one who noticed this . DISCOVERIES Um, the Lighthouse ...which is totally awesome. Claire is buddy-buddy with the Locke-less Monster. Kate actually plans on finding Claire; it's wasn't a ruse or moment of emotional irrationality. Despite being dead, Jacob is still communicating with Hugo. Claire knows how to use an axe. OBSERVATIONS Last episode, Locke-less Monster took Sawyer to his supposed home away from home: a dark cave hidden in the side of a cliff on the Island. This episode, Jacob guided Hugo and Jack to his HAFH: a light house. The depth of the X-world gets deeper: Jack has a son, Dogen never went to the island, and Dogen

Well ...

Here's a story about what to expect from the new credit card rules . And here's the Daily Shows' take .

Funny, I don't remember candidate Barack Obama running on a "take-your-guns-away" platform . If MD falls behind the rest of the country in education, you won't have to ask why . Charlie Sheen's in rehab . The new Mass. Senator got a lot of outside financial love .

When part of the final season was first leaked, they refused to watch .

Dave, I know this hurts , but you have to consider that anyone willing to do this should have no problem paying for a 911 emergency (especially if they have a big family): VILLE PLATTE, La. - A Louisiana woman has pleaded guilty to selling two children for a cockatoo and $175 in what her attorney called an attempt to do a good thing that went wrong. "It was a really clumsy attempt at an adoption proceeding," said Steve Sikich, attorney for Donna Louise Greenwell of Pitkin. "She was trying to help the children and get them situated." [SNIP] Investigators said she called Paul J. Romero, 46, and Brandy Lynn Romero, 27, of Evangeline Parish early last year after seeing a flyer they posted offering a cockatoo for sale, and offered to deliver the children for about $2,000. When the Romeros said they could not afford that, a deal was stuck for the bird, valued at $1,500, plus cash. Greenwell had custody of the children for more than a year before meeting the Romeros, Siki

... maybe it was because he couldn't filter himself . Kornheiser, the popular host of the show "Pardon the Interruption," is known for making sports figures the subject of his humorous criticism, but in a recent show he aimed his commentary at Storm's wardrobe. [SNIP: read the story to see what he said. It ain't pretty.] Kornheiser opened his radio show the next day by apologizing, saying, "I apologize, unequivocally ... I'm a sarcastic, subversive guy ... I'm a troll, look at me. I have no right to insult what anybody looks like or what anybody wears. That, I think, should go without saying."

J-Lo's apparently leaving her record label ...didn't know she was still singing on that level.

Rep. John Boehner's Office on President Obama's HCR proposal : "The White House's 'plan' consists of an 11-page outline, which has not been scored by the Congressional Budget Office or posted online as legislative text. So they want to reorganize one-sixth of the United States' economy with a document shorter than a comic book, and they're complaining that they can't find our plan on their own website? C'mon." Last fall, he said this about the Pelosi Bill: "The best way to get a sense of what Speaker Pelosi's takeover of health care looks like is to actually look at it. Just shy of 2,000 pages, it runs more than 620 pages longer than the government-run plan Hillary Clinton proposed in 1993." So as long as the bill is more than 11 pages yet under 2,000 pages (that itself was an exaggeration; if printed in a traditional fashion it's about as long as Sarah Palin's book), maybe Boehner and Co. will embrace it. Or maybe not

This is a very interesting take ; here's a sample: Nowhere in America lives a kid who looked up to Tiger because he thought he was faithful to his wife. Woods wasn't some right-wing hypocrite. He didn't preach. His church was the Chapel of Sports Excellence. Apologize? What for? I'm not even sure he owes his wife an apology. According to various reports (although I fathom not how said accounts were sourced), Woods' wife lost interest in sex after having kids. If she turned colder, oh well. Things happen. Tiger didn't have the right to demand that she put out. But he had every right—the duty, even, if there was to be any chance of his keeping his family intact from divorce—to have some fun on the side. If Mrs. Woods wanted it ten times a day, on the other hand, he owes her an apology. Her. Not us.

Hiroyuki Sanada, who plays "Dogen," gives fans a little taste of his character's impact on Television's Most Intriguing Island.

Who needs to be POTUS when you can be RNC Chair and milk the hell out of your party ? “Michael Steele is an imperial chairman,” said one longtime Republican fundraiser. “He flies in private aircraft. He drives in private cars. He has private consultants that are paid ridiculous retainers. He fancies himself a presidential candidate and wants all of the trappings and gets them by using other people’s money.” For real, son.

...I say, "Why not both ?"

Dick Cheney's very persistent . Who knew choking on hot dogs was such a problem ? And so begins the Taylor Swift backlash (actually, it began with her movie reviews, but whatever). The first step is admitting that you have a problem, especially if you're a terrorist. And update involving Natalee Holloway , one of the first people I ever blogged about. Better late than never . Lindsay Lohan blames her pop for her drugin'.

I'm still kicking myself for not seeing the first one in theaters (I did but it, however). Now being denied a chance to see the sequel on the big screen is giving me double-regret.

The White House breaks it down .

Fact: Sarah Palin has a child who has special needs, aka, a disability. Fact: Last week, Virginia State Delegate Bob Marshall said: “ The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children .” Fill In The Blank: Therefore, Bob Marshall believes that someone like Sarah Palin _________.

Glad to finally see the White House weighing in on the HCR bill. And I mean FINALLY . Well, that's because everyone runs as an outsider the first time . Credit cards are in the mail again , but without the old bells and whistles. Sweet Baby Jesus: diversity in the work place is not worth sacrificing human life or national security . The "wrong" "hero." We should all nap more . Ninja restaurant . "Nuff said.

The Clone Wars wasn't all that bad . You know you want to drive one . Why I don't want a realistic cartoon . Ron Paul's associations . Twelve excuses plagiarists usually give .

Well, suicide's still a problem over there .

I suppose when Sarah Palin decided to launch her attack on Family Guy, she didn't realize that the actress playing the character who ribbed her has Down Syndrome . And I agree with the Daily Kos diarist's (CatM) asesment: I think Andrea makes it clear that one person (or character) with Down Syndrome does not equal ALL people with Down Syndrome anymore than any actor or character represents all people. Palin sees Trig as a symbol of Down Syndrome, not a person. So any thing she sees as critical of Down Syndrome is an attack on Trig personally.

Michelle Trachtenberg raps.

Apparently, Tiger Woods used those mistresses to keep his weight down . Thank you, Boston plowmen . Thank you, Denver Nuggets . Sounds kinda like LOST, except Arkham Asylum's on the Island . Cool! Yet no one talks about doing anything about China . Not saying we should "do something," but I would think being able to hack into the federal government and shut it down is just as dangerous as bringing an underwear bomb on a plane. Guess how many minorities were stopped by NYPD last year. And Boston was looking to trade Ray Allen .

Making a career on hating unions yet barely blinking when your conference is staffed by them .

"I hope this will not be misunderstood, so that it defiles the sanctity of Islam. The punishment is to teach and give a chance to those who have fallen off the path to return and build a better life in the future." “Maalox Total Relief and Maalox a re not interchangeable and shouldn’t be used in place of each other .” “ It was a glaring omission that . . . there wasn’t the inclusion of the shooter who exited her house with a gun, leveling the gun at an innocent bystander, and making demands on that bystander.’’ “We know from previous studies that negative emotion is predictive of heart disease. We wanted to find out if positive affect is protective .” “I was looking and I couldn’t see them. But they were shooting the dirt right next to us .”

They don't seem to be as large as advertised , they appear to be made up of former College Republicans and fraternity brothers , and they include a good mix of birther s and truthers .

If I was worried that these flash-sideways were just another boring way to do character development while the fun stuff happens on the island, last night's episode proved me wrong. In the X-world, Locke tries to adjust to life in a wheelchair. On the Island, Smokey/Evil Locke tries to recruit people for his cause. As usual with Locke-centric episodes, you really don't get anything from anyone else, so if you aren't/weren't a Locke fan you were out of luck. For Locke's fans, it's worth noting that in the X-world he has a pretty good life (and attitude), despite being in a wheelchair. DISCOVERIES Evil Locke can't change into anything/anyone else (except into his Smokey form, apparently). Hugo owned a Temp Agency (if this was mentioned in previous seasons, I missed it). Sawyer is part of Jacob's secret (and male-dominated) list that was kept in Jacob's cave. (If you believe Evil Locke) Jacob had planned to use some of the Flight 815 survivors as candid

Not what George Karl or the Denver Nuggets need . Political panic . If this actress ever got political, I'd swear pundits would be all, "Sarah who?" Just trying to get attention . Winter Olympics doing better than I thought they would . Watch for more Bayer and Advil commercials now . Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda .

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news , world news , and news about the economy

“ You’ve given yourselves very little room to work in a bipartisan fashion because what you’ve been telling your constituents is, ‘This guy’s doing all kinds of crazy stuff that is going to destroy America.’ ” " After I lost the baby I didn't want to talk about it." “One minute she’s fine, the other minutes hollering and screaming .’’ " He makes the Taliban run. "

see more funny facebook stuff! Getting your morning going with these foods . Makes you just want to go out and have a litter of kids, huh ? Hasbro to get their own network (Syndicated Transformers, here I come!) Maia Campbell seems to have gotten better (in case you don't remember what she used to look like ). Snowfall makes people do crazy (read: illegal ) things. Beyonce in the morning . Getting over an ex . How overweight people stay overweight . Something tells me that the Winter Olympics really are trying to get people to watch the events . Black TV couples throughout the years. You know; maybe Lindsay Lohan wanted the attention .

Yikes . HUNTSVILLE, Ala. – A woman opened fire during a biology faculty meeting at the University of Alabama's Huntsville campus Friday , killing three people and injuring three others, officials said. The shooter was caught outside the Shelby Center, a science building, without incident, according to university spokesman Ray Garner. Local media reported the shooter was a faculty member, though Garner said he could not identify her. A man was also being detained. All three of those killed and two of the injured were faculty members. The third injured person was a staff member. No students were involved in the shooting.

Glenn Beck has a guest who advises his audience to " perhaps consider, maybe, maybe having a farm, maybe growing your own food, maybe you need to take up arms if you have any to protect your family ." ...and... Tea Party supporter and Sarah Palin fan is caught by the ATF for stockpiling medicine, weapons and food .

C&L has their own take on the new Jobs Bill that I mentioned earlier , and after looking at it again, I think they have a point.

Well, actually more like " Clinton Portis' perception of things versus LaVar Arrington's perception of things ," but the title I used is more eye-catching. Still, something worth reading/listening to.

Alexis Hutchinson's ordeal with the military seems to finally be ending . Bill Clinton seems to be recovering . H1N1 is more of a problem for children than adults. A look at the Fort Greene documentary . Does this truly spell the end of one of the country's most famous political families? When a political party fears their opponent's base more than their own, they do things like neuter otherwise potent pieces of legislation .

I wish I was making this up .

They can take on Magneto and Dr. Doom, but they're powerless against a party that didn't exist four years ago. Will Ultimate Captain America apologize to France?

Really ? County drivers working to plow the roads in Prince George's County were accosted Thursday around 10 a.m. by several residents, who told them that if their streets didn't get plowed they were going to "throw them out of their trucks and beat them up," said Susan Hubbard, spokeswoman for the county's Department of Public Works and Transportation. The incident happened in the southern part of the county, outside the Beltway, but Hubbard declined to name a specific neighborhood. She said police were notified and have responded to the area to make their presence known, though Hubbard did not believe any arrests were made. A call to county police officials for more information was not immediately returned. "We had reports that three or four of the drivers in this one particular area," were threatened, Hubbard said. "It's ridiculous. ...Men and women are working as hard as they possibly can. ... I understand people are frustrated. ... It&#

Apparently the difference is now she's being criticized by professional know-it-alls .

Poll insinuates that Americans want Congress (read: US Senate) to start doing something, doesn't understand Tea Party. Oh, and Sarah Palin isn't the hit her TV appearances have led us to believe. A sex crime story that makes me think we may have to revise some off our sex offender laws. Massachusetts cracks down on food allergy safety . Iran and South Africa celebrate their respective anniversaries. Stuttering may run in the family . All good things must come to an end, especially for DC sports .

FYI: I got this message this morning from my local councilman: 9:15 am Wed Feb 10th Again, my staff and I are monitoring phone calls to the office (301) 952-3887 and emails that we receive. We are forwarding concerns directly to the personnel supervising the snow removal teams. I am getting these emails on my Blackberry - your message is being read and dealt with. I will be trying to get a new status report this morning. At this moment, i do not have new information. Yesterday, the focus was to finish getting to ALL residential streets, including continuing that effort during the early parts of the new storm. Unfortunately, that means making streets "passable" not clear. That has just been the reality of the magnitude of this storm. I have personally checked on many of the residential streets that people have complained about, and I have gotten equipment out there by working with the DPWT leadership. Nonetheless, many of these streets that are "passable" result in

I think it would go without saying that this is bad and unprecedented . Yet I've seen some jerks claim that where they're from, this is "normal" and they wouldn't panic. Well, I suppose if Maryland, DC, Virginia, New Jersey and Pennsylvania had blizzards every damn winter these states (and the people who live there) would be more prepared. So let me ask these "blizzard experts:" how prepared is your town/state for a flood? A tornado? An earthquake? Would you still just brush it off, or would you maybe feel a bit overwhelmed?

Despite Emilie de Ravin's spoilers , this was still an interesting and revealing episode. We got to see Aldo (who survived the last Survivors vs. Others battle), Ethan (alternate version) and the mysterious other Others who weren't with Richard. While there were certainly a lot of things to go over, I'll be brief this time: DISCOVERIES The X/Alternate timeline is a month off. Dogen knows about the Survivors and apparently their relationships. In the X-timeline, Ethan's still a doctor and in California. The reason Claire didn't give birth soon after the crash was because Ethan was giving her drugs. OBSERVATIONS While Miles has established Hugo as a leader, Jack is still using his experience as a doctor to make leadership-like decisions. Dogen's initial reason for not speaking English (he claimed he finds it repulsive) contradicts the reason he gave Jack (to keep him, the leader, distant from those who follow him). Sawyer knew Kate would at least try to follow him

It's a shame that when I first saw the body count for this story , I assumed it was just another terrorist attack or war casualty. Ellen gets her shot on American Idol. Seriously? " Internet rape? " Just sick and crazy enough to have a movie made about it. Really didn't that radiation safety was in the FDA's jusridiction, but oh well . Who knew going to the dentist could get you out of some jailtime ? MTV finally admits that they aren't really doing the "music thing" anymore. Millionaire decides to give money away , is called crazy by critics.

... and thanks again , Internet.

This post pretty much sums up my feelings regarding "Smallville:" the producers desire to keep Clark Kent out of the Superman suit has rendered the show barely watchable. And this is from someone who claimed to have watched just one recent episode; I've watched the damn thing off-and-on for about 4&1/2 seasons. And every year they do something like this: tease you with an episode that makes you think, Finally, we're going to see the Man of Steel ! But what happens instead is what always happens: they take one step forward and two steps back. I mean, the way they've jerked her character around, I really expected Allison Mack to leave a long time ago. No some may argue that other shows (like LOST) do the same thing; except shows like LOST do it on purpose, and they've managed to do in a far more creative fashion.

Lawyer for the Americans who tried to "adopt" Haitian children (some weren't even orphans) calls it quits . Congrats to Brooklyn Decker . No Kobe/No Bynum/No Problem . New revelation regarding autism. Michelle Obama takes on childhood obesity . R.I.P., John Murtha .

Here's a story of a high-school-student-soon-to-be-college-student who came this close to being a full-time stripper: Well, fortunately for Brianna, former Congresswoman Linda Smith got involved. Smith is a member of Shared Hope International , an organization that deals with fighting back against sex trafficking.

Can't say Obama isn't trying (to a fault). One of my personal favorite Superbowl commercials . Keeping an eye on Taiwan's growth . America doesn't torture; but Americans? That's another story . Ukraine tries to smooth their elections out .

Not everything Steve Jobs suggests works out . You wouldn't peg Natalie Portman as a man-stealer, but ... Take his advice, which is actually " don't listen to guys like me ." Amanda Rosa was going to be a lawyer, but she decided to get into music. I support that call . I'd have to answer this question with a "yes." But I'd expand it to say that any intelligent minority has it rough. This woman is probably the reason a lot of us are alive today. There's both a latent agenda and some medicinal reality that probably won't be exposed in Tim Tebow's Superbowl ad. Add teddy bears to the growing list of drug mules. How idiotic arguments enter the political mainstream . Why some kids get bullied . What those " idiot lights " on your car really mean.

What do you have to do? Pitch a perfect game in the new MLB 2K10 .

The guy has a friggin' tour rider . That's like a college basketball player having a tour rider. He's not Obama, Palin or even William Shatner. WTF, dude?

Sooner or later, the media will realize that this only means the end of a filabuster-proof majority Ever quit by haiku? Via Twitter? How about both ? Here's my cheesy chick flick post of the month . Consider the quota filled. I don't think bombing people during a religious event is a good recruiting tactic. If you're still using the old Xbox, don't count on using it for online gaming anymore . Drew Peterson may want to shut the hell up . As if Toyota needed any more problems . This new Monopoly game looks cool. Let's make a deal .

Not exactly what everyone thought .

But it doesn't work .

Yeah, that David Broder .

"On the Left, we have a right-wing Democrat. On the Right, we have an imbecile. God Save Our National Discourse." ibc , commenting on the Michael Steele/Harold Ford Jr. Cage Match . In a sense, that quote does describe our current political landscape.

Hockey is dangerous . The Senate Jobs bill . I'm pretty sure candidate Obama mentioned Pakistan as a player in the GWOT. There's more than one Jessica Lynch story. Kobe has some ankle problems . Lego gun gets fourth grader suspended. Remember: The GOP is not the Party of NO." Battling obesity . Splinters in the tea (party). And so begins the Clinton Portis Persona Reinvention Tour .

Really? There are no young Asian, Latina or African-American actresses who are part of " New Hollywood? "

Henry Louis Gates Jr. (remember him?) gives his own take on what happened in and to Haiti . In short: Haiti was in many ways a precusor to how America treated Iraq after 9/11.

Don't celebrity sex tapes/nude photos usually come out when said celebrity's fame is on a downslide? Bill Cowher wisely keeps his coaching options open. In other words: a half-assed approach to abstinence doesn't cut it . Cracking down on texting (and being old) will driving. Making progress . Vanessa Williams finally gets the memo . Like your average "independent" voter, most of the Taliban just goes with the flow .

Another season, another interesting opener (Attention: POSSIBLE SPOILERS). Sayid dies, then doesn't. Locke's reborn, except he ain't. The Losties escape the the Island, except they didn't. Looks like the new story-telling gimmick (flashbacks and flashforwards) is showing us what would have happened if our beloved characters never crashed on the Island (someway, in this reality, it's underwater). Here, Kate's still a fugitive (of course she escapes custody again after they land), Locke's still in a wheelchair, Jack's looking for his dad's coffin, Jin gets arrested (Sun did not espose her ability to speak/understand English) and we're even treated with a Boone & Charlie cameo But hold on: while we're treated to a world with the Losties but sans the Island, there's still the reality we're all too familiar with: in this world, Faraday's/Jack's plan was a complete screwup, Juliet dies in Sawyer's arms, Hugo become a tempora

... and it ain't pretty .

As the political world turns to budgets, you'll have your share of deficit hawks make the rounds on the regular shows. You'll also be exposed to deficit peacocks, which are a different breed. This post talks about how to spot the peacocks .

Odds are, the password you use for Facebook is the same as the one for your bank account .

They've developed a substance that may allow people to walk on walls .

The Health Care version .

DADT may finally get re-evaluated . Apparently this week it's all about budgets and deficits . Damn furball's been giving the same outlook for the past ten years. China to Obama: don't visit the Dalai Lama . I'd rather see one of these two win the Razzie , even though the possibility of Sandra Bullock winning both and Oscar and a Razzie in the same year is intriguing.

"Obviously, nobody wants to watch a bunch of muscley men jump on top of each other in tight shiny pants and slap each other on the ass if it’s going to be interrupted by a bunch of gay shit." -- The Editors from Poorman, on the hypocrisy of which commercials are being allowed to be shown during the Superbowl .

It's back-to-school for NCLB . Is the financial sector using Scott Brown as a warning to the Obama Administration? Traffic plane for New Jersey news station causes traffic problems on New Jersey Turnpike . Guess Haiti will be occupied pretty soon , eh? The Obama Budget will curb the deficit but deny us the chance to finally conquer the moon . Equal-opportunity terrorism . He may not hand out free software, but Bill Gates is a giver . Toyota Recall .