When Satire Met Reality...
I know this story isn't real (it is from the Onion, after all) but that doesn't make it any less humorous:
I'd be lying if I didn't think there was, say, a 25% chance of that scenario taking place. Or even this one:
Of course, if his administration didn't try to politicize every aspect of government (in real life) for the sake of power, money and votes, his old buddies wouldn't be leaving in disgrace.
WASHINGTON, DC—A confused President Bush broke free from the restraint of Secret Service agents and ran in pursuit of departing deputy chief of staff Karl Rove's car for several blocks down Pennsylvania Avenue before being outdistanced by the vehicle.
"Why can't I go with him?" Bush tearfully asked advisers as the longtime Republican strategist's sedan disappeared over the horizon. "When is he coming back?"
White House staff were deeply moved by the scene, saying that despite their best efforts, no one was able to explain to the president that he would no longer be able to remain at his chief adviser's side. Onlookers were clearly choked up as a tearful Rove, trying to close the car door behind him, told Bush in a stern, commanding tone to back away.
"Go on…you hear me? Get out of here, I say!" Rove said. "I don't love you anymore, understand? Now get! Get!"
I'd be lying if I didn't think there was, say, a 25% chance of that scenario taking place. Or even this one:
The president continued to ask about his former adviser throughout the day, often clutching Rove's day planner, dialing his extension, and blinking uncomprehendingly when told that Rove was never coming back.
White House press secretary Tony Snow was finally called in to attempt to convey the reality of the situation to the president, but he was unable to do so.
"He kept looking up at me with those wide, innocent eyes, and I didn't know what to say," Snow told reporters. "Maybe someday when he's older, he'll understand how the public lost trust in his big buddy after a series of crucial political missteps, and how firing those attorneys and the..."
At this point in the briefing Snow fell silent, overcome with emotion, and moving many in the press room to tears.
Of course, if his administration didn't try to politicize every aspect of government (in real life) for the sake of power, money and votes, his old buddies wouldn't be leaving in disgrace.
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